Will I Stop Writing?
How The Thought Has Changed Through Writing Over 1,250 Articles In An Equal Number Of Days
Will I Stop Writing?
How The Thought Has Changed Through Writing Over 1,250 Articles In An Equal Number Of Days
Written by a human, for humans, always.
When I first began to dedicate myself to writing articles...
My first goal was 30 days straight.
I had a worry...
Would I be able to even do it?
Will I stop writing?
Somewhere along that?
Unable to reach the goal?
Unable to come up with ideas to write about?
Would it become a project...
Like so many people have...
That never is accomplished...
Forgotten...
Left to perish in a dark corner of the internet that no one ever peers into...
Afraid of coming to terms with their own failures?
It is strange to think about the internet like this...
A database of ideas and intentions...
Lost...
Expanding exponentially all the time...
With forgotten places that may never be discovered...
Now being hidden by infestations of AI junk...
Posted by people who do not read over their output...
Read only by AI...
Further masking the few real individuals who take real time to dedicate themselves to ideas and craft.
When you face that...
It can be easy to question if your efforts are worth it...
And this only adds to the pressure of questioning whether you have the capacity to write enough...
To even go for 30 days.
Yet...
I did it successfully.
30 days of articles...
And it felt great.
The experience was enough of a driving force to drive me to a new goal...
Writing articles every day for a full year...
And I started that journey on January 1, 2023.
But...
My worries did not subside.
30 days is one thing...
365 days is over 12 times the number of articles.
Could I really go that long?
Write that many articles?
Or would I stop at some point...
Defeated?
I was not sure, but I decided to go for the goal anyway.
At first...
The days felt like they would never end.
The pressure always felt intense.
Then...
One day...
Things began to become more simple.
Not easy...
But more simple.
I was able to begin to write more consistently.
Ideas began to flow more easily.
Still...
There were days that were a real struggle...
Where I was unsure of what I would write about for hours...
But I would eventually land on something.
Write.
Edit.
Publish.
I kept going until I had done it...
One full year of writing articles.
Then...
I decided that I was not going to stop.
365 days became 500 days.
500 days became 2 years straight.
2 years became 1,000 days.
1,000 days became 3 years straight...
And now...
I continue to write...
Edit...
Publish...
Every single day.
I have now written over 1,250 articles in an equal number of days...
Over a quarter of the way to 5,000 days...
Which...
Doesn’t even feel like a real number.
Neither does 1,000 days if I am going to be honest.
There are some days when writing takes me a bit more time...
Where the words do not come out as smoothly as I like...
But somewhere along the way...
I no longer worried about whether I could write an article in any given day...
I just simply...
Knew...
That it would come.
The pressure of finding something to write about doesn’t exist anymore.
For a long time...
I did not even keep any ideas within reach...
I just knew that when I decided to sit down...
Something would come.
But recently...
I had a new thought come through my mind as I was writing...
Will I stop writing?
Not in the same sense where I am worried about being able to write...
But more...
Will there come a day...
At some point in the future...
Perhaps near the end of life...
Where I will sit to write...
And just...
Feel finished?
Not in a defeated way...
Not in a worried way...
But in a completely satisfied with my entire body of work, way?
Where I know I could write more...
But I simply decide that nothing more is needed?
That is a much stranger question.
When you find something that you love to do...
That you feel great doing...
That pushes you to become the best version of yourself...
Is there a point where you simply...
Decide that there will be no more?
A satisfying conclusion to everything you have done?
I’m not sure.
If you look at history...
There are people who die before their greatest works are finished...
Running out of time.
There are people who are on death’s door, saying that their work is finished...
Completely content with everything they have done.
There are people who know there is more to their work...
But know that it must be passed on to others to become complete.
There are people who feel like something is missing...
But never figure out what it is they.
There are people who become bored with what they do...
So they begin new projects and leave behind everything else.
There are people who think they are done with an idea...
Yet at some point, discover that it is not yet done and return to it.
There are people whose lives and work have been lost...
And we will never know what they did or failed to do.
What does the future hold?
There are so many variables...
Things we know exist...
Things we never could predict...
Things we felt were behind us but return in ways we never expected...
Things that are only ideas in someone’s mind that have not yet been released into the world.
Will I stop writing?
I do not know.
Perhaps it is not possible to know.
Maybe I will find myself running out of time.
Maybe I will feel some way one day and completely different the next.
I cannot say.
But perhaps...
Perhaps...
The question was never designed to be answered today.
A thought...
But one which was never meant to be taken seriously.
Not every thought has to be followed to the bottom of the rabbit hole.
Sometimes...
We must simply live...
Doing what is here and now.
To Your Sageship,
Cody
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