Seeking Sageship: Beyond Leadership

Seeking Sageship: Beyond Leadership

What Most Fail To Understand About Love

A Valentine's Day Message

Dr. Cody Dakota Wooten's avatar
Dr. Cody Dakota Wooten
Feb 15, 2026
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What Most Fail To Understand About Love

A Valentine’s Day Message

Valentine’s Day is a day of love.

Showing it.

Demonstrating it.

Aching for it.

But most people fail to really understand love...

Real love.

So many people are seeking it...

Desperate for it...

Then even when they have another person in their lives...

They struggle tremendously.

There is a reason that most relationships fail.

70% of all relationships fail in the first year.

40% to 50% of first marriages fail.

60% to 70% of second and third marriages fail from there.

But why is our ability to create lasting relationships so abysmal?

It really comes down to a fundamental error about what love is.

See...

Most people believe that love is meant to complete us.

That when you find the right person...

They will fill in the holes that we feel...

Help us understand and find our worth...

The two become one as it is taught in different traditions.

But...

This is not how it ends up working out...

And it is why so many relationships fail.

People go into relationships with this expectation...

And they come face to face with a harsh truth...

The other person does not complete them.

Yes...

Sometimes there is the honeymoon phase...

And some people fall into the belief that this phase is the proof that the other person can complete them.

But...

The honeymoon phase never lasts.

People begin to notice the flaws in each other...

The missing pieces stay the missing...

And the truth of it becomes obvious...

You will not be completed by the other person in the relationship.

Why is this?

Because that is not how we work as humans.

There is only one person who can complete you...

And that is yourself.

If you cannot complete yourself...

Others will not complete you either.

But this is another thing that most people fail to understand...

The two can become one.

But it requires two whole individuals...

To unite...

Not to complete each other...

But to maximize each other.

When it comes to human potential...

We unlock it through unity with others...

But unity crumbles upon a broken foundation.

Each individual contributes to the overall foundation...

And the more cracks that exist in one person...

The less stable the foundation...

And the more likely that anything built upon it shall crash.

That is the true meaning of two becoming one...

And what true love is about...

Two individuals, giving their complete and best selves to others.

It is not selfish...

By seeking our own fulfillment or completion.

That is a recipe for failure...

And what we see so often in our world today.

On this Valentine’s Day...

Understand that True Love requires us to become complete in our own right...

So that we can bring our best selves into a relationship.


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So, what do we need to be complete?

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