Things That Will Make You Happy
The Reality Most People Do Not Understand
Things That Will Make You Happy
The Reality Most People Do Not Understand
Written by a human, for humans, always.
Most people are miserable.
Even among many people who claim to have happiness in their lives...
Still feel miserable inside...
Holding it secretly so that either...
Others are not bothered by them...
Or...
So others do not see how miserable they truly feel.
But here is the other side to that...
Most of them want to be happy...
They chase happiness...
But continually fail.
The reason is simple.
They chase the emotion of happiness...
Which is ethereal, comes and goes, and will never be permanent...
But what they desire...
Is the Wayset, or a way of full being, that experiences happiness.
These are not the same thing.
You can have the Wayset of happiness...
Without the emotion of happiness.
You can also have the emotion of happiness that feels hollow...
Because it lacks the Wayset of happiness.
This is why so many people fail to find happiness in life...
And end up feeling miserable.
They are chasing the wrong form of happiness...
That is hollow and will disappear...
Often experienced less frequently, the harder you chase it.
This begs the question...
What leads to the Wayset of happiness then?
I have a few different things that we can pursue in life...
Which helps us live in the Wayset of happiness.
The first...
Being true to your Core Identity.
This is “not” the same thing as “be true to yourself”.
Why?
Most people do not really know who they are...
And unless they have taken a serious amount of time to work through different psychological levels of identity...
They do not really know their Core Identity.
Let me give you an example...
When most people introduce themselves...
They will say something like...
Hi, my name is W...
I do work as X...
My most important relationships are Y...
For fun, I do Z.
All of these...
W, X, Y, and Z...
No matter what you fill them in with...
Are all Transient Identities.
They are things that naturally change over time...
Either completely, such as when we change our careers...
Or in meaning, such as what being a parent means as a child gets older.
They may be “important” to you...
And many of them “should” be important...
But importance is not the same thing as your Core Identity.
That is where so many people go wrong.
They build everything in their lives around parts of their identity that inevitably change...
Believing they will always last...
Then, when they do change, it feels like the world is crumbling.
It is because you built everything around that which is transient.
Our Core Identity is what is left when we remove all the things that inevitably change...
And this is where most people become uncomfortable...
Because when they look at the things in their lives that they hold as most important...
They often begin to realize that most...
If not everything...
Could change in the blink of an eye...
And they have no idea what their Core Identity truly is...
Or how to be true to it.
You need to identify what your Core Identity actually is...
Before you can be true to it.
The second...
Taking action toward something truly meaningful.
All of us take actions in our lives...
Or take the act of inaction...
Which is also a choice.
But what do those actions work toward?
For most people...
Little to nothing.
I can tell you from experience...
That working hard on things that are not meaningful...
Feels awful...
Especially if those things change...
And you are left with next to nothing for all of the hard work you did toward that nothing.
That was how my first corporate job went.
I was working extremely hard...
Getting promoted quickly...
Being looked at for further promotions...
Dedicating my heart and soul to a job that, truly, was not that meaningful.
I knew it then, and I simply hoped that by rising up I could make meaning with it somehow.
Then, the company was merged, new leadership was brought in, and immediately most of my coworkers were laid off...
And I was given a countdown for my own layoff...
Being replaced by people who did not care nearly as much as I did...
Simply because they were significantly cheaper to pay...
And I had to train them, knowing all of this.
That was when I made a decision that for the rest of my career, I was going to at least put some effort into things that were meaningful...
Even if only a little at a time.
I can tell you...
Even in the worst times of working toward something meaningful...
I was vastly happier...
Than at the peak of working toward nothing in my career.
This is because the Wayset of happiness is not dependent on the emotion of happiness...
And a Wayset of meaning, even when difficult, makes us happier.
The third...
Living in values that demonstrate true love.
Now this is where many people go wrong...
They claim to love others...
While their actions demonstrate hatred.
Even if they “believe” they are loving...
Their actions of hatred will destroy their Wayset...
Causing them misery.
It is vastly more difficult to demonstrate true love...
Especially towards those you consider enemies...
Especially towards those you believe are wrong...
Especially towards those you cannot stand...
How you act and live towards those you vehemently oppose...
Is a true determinant of your Wayset.
If all of your actions are toward hatred...
You will feel miserable.
I see it all the time.
If your goal is to beat, destroy, crush, demolish, eliminate, or kill others...
In the many ways that play out...
Then you will find yourself more miserable.
Why?
Usually, what drives this type of behavior...
Deep down...
Is fear.
True love does not act in fear.
True love acts in hope.
This form of action also goes against our Core Identity...
Even if we do not realize it consciously...
Which drives a subconscious fear and loss of happiness.
Our actions are more powerful than we realize...
And the Wayset of happiness requires true love.
The fourth...
Working through tough challenges.
So many people are afraid of...
Losing...
Being wrong...
Failing...
Making mistakes...
That they never really challenge themselves.
But this is the opposite of what our hearts and souls desire.
We want to express the greatest versions of ourselves...
But this only happens...
By challenging ourselves.
When we are in the thick of challenges...
It will be emotionally difficult.
But remember...
The Wayset of happiness is different than the emotion of happiness.
When we give up on difficult things...
Or never pursue them at all...
We are chasing the emotion of happiness...
But sacrificing the ability to express our best selves...
Therefore, sacrificing the Wayset of happiness.
But...
If we challenge ourselves and push ourselves to our highest potential...
We begin to find...
That the Wayset of happiness can persist...
Even during the most difficult emotions we face.
Why?
Because subconsciously...
We know that the only way to express our best selves in the world...
Is to challenge ourselves...
And it is through those challenges that we discover the things that become the most meaningful aspects of our lives.
The fifth...
Creating a community around yourself.
As humans, we are designed to be interdependent.
Yes, we need to work toward our best selves...
But we also want to be around others who are also working toward their best selves...
And together...
Our best selves can express at even higher capacities than can be attained alone.
But for this to succeed...
We need a strong and solid community around us.
We need a work community...
A familial community, which does not necessarily have to revolve around blood relations...
A community that supports our needs wherever we find ourselves weakest...
Which not only understands our struggles...
But helps us get out of those struggles toward something greater.
Where so many people go wrong within the community they build...
Which, we all do whether we recognize it or not...
Is that they surround themselves with people who are not seeking to express their best selves...
With others who have accepted where they are...
Who do not use their abilities in the world around them...
Who are not supportive of something better...
Who keep them in their struggles, sometimes without realizing it.
This is why it is important to understand what you truly need within your community.
Sometimes people get help...
But it is not the help that they actually need in life...
Which ends up keeping them in lives of decay.
Who you surround yourself with plays a large role in how you see the world...
As well as what you become capable of.
But within a strong community...
Even during the most difficult of times...
We can find the Wayset of happiness.
The sixth...
Improving your health.
Our health is a limiter on our potential.
It is that simple.
But alongside this...
It is also a limiter of our emotional range of expression.
When we are in poor health...
Naturally...
We feel more anxious, depressed, hopeless, fearful, and more.
Now, will all of these disappear if we become healthier?
No.
But...
As long as we are unhealthy...
We actually become, literally, unable to feel many other emotions such as happiness, joy, glee, wonder, and awe...
Or at the very least, significantly less able.
Why?
Emotions we experience are created alongside different neurotransmitters and hormones in the body...
But in poor health...
We cannot create those neurotransmitters and hormones.
So, we lose access to those emotions...
And our bodies force us into other emotions for what it deems as survival.
The state of unhealth acts as a state of survival...
Even if we are not in a dire situation.
This is why so many people feel like they are struggling to survive in life...
Because their bodies are literally telling them they are.
But with our health...
Not only do we gain access to a wider array of emotions...
But we also become more capable of everything in our lives...
And when things go wrong...
We feel more capable of overcoming those things.
All of this contributes to a Wayset of happiness.
Our health is vastly more important than most people realize...
And it plays a significant role in why so many people feel unhappy...
Both emotionally and as a Wayset.
Their unhealthiness causes them to become unhappy both emotionally and as a Wayset.
So, we must seek to become healthier in our lives.
The seventh...
Finding flow states consistently.
At our physiological best...
We enter into flow states.
But this is what is important...
We need to figure out how to enter into them consistently...
And...
Directed toward the right things.
It is possible to experience a flow state doing just about any activity...
Even in situations we despise.
Many people find flow states at jobs that they despise.
The flow state makes them feel great...
But the direction does not.
So, what we need to begin to do...
Is find flow states in all of the previous things we described above.
When we do this consistently...
Our lives begin to expand in ways we could never predict.
But this is important...
There are two aspects of flow states that most people miss...
That, when you miss them...
Prevent you from accessing flow consistently.
Struggle and Recovery.
See...
You cannot “stay” in a flow state perpetually...
And anyone who says otherwise is confusing psychophysiological “flow” with other states of being, such as “bliss” or “deep focus”.
Flow is a “very” specific state...
That has a time limit of about 50 to 90 minutes...
Assuming you do not fall out of the state due to factors such as distractions.
After that time-limited state...
You need to recover...
And after you recover enough...
You need to struggle “enough” to find the flow zone.
If you are not struggling...
Or you are not recovering properly...
Then you will not find flow consistently.
Only by following the flow cycle...
Over and over again...
Will you access flow states consistently.
When we combine all of these things...
You will begin to experience a Wayset of happiness...
One that will persist, even through the most difficult of emotions.
To Your Sageship,
Cody
P.S. - It can be Difficult to Figure Out How To Achieve…
Stress Optimization
Psychophysiological Freedom
An Exemplar Wayset
If you want Aid on the Path to Sageship, let me know - I’ll be Your Coach and Guide.
Just Send Me A Message.