The Psychological Trap We Create In Pursuit Of Our Best
How This Trap Actively Prevents Us From Attaining Our Potential
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The Psychological Trap We Create In Pursuit Of Our Best
How This Trap Actively Prevents Us From Attaining Our Potential
We live in a Society that Claims to Value Performance...
Yet We Dramatically Fail to Cultivate It.
There is a lot of Large Talk about How We Should Seek to Do Our Best...
Perform Our Best...
Be Our Best...
But it is So Dramatically Rare that it Seems more like a Myth than Reality.
It Seems that Far More Often...
People Find their Best...
Then it Begins to Slip Away...
Further and Further...
Until it Seems So Hopelessly Far Away that We Give Up on the Idea Completely.
We Hit Our Peak...
It is Only Downhill From Here.
But Here's The Reality...
That Entire Inner Monologue is a Psychological Trap that We Fall For.
Oh So Frequently.
A Trap which Actively Prevents Us from Attaining Our Potential.
But How Is That So?
Don't We "Need" To Perform Our Best To Reach Our Potential?
Yes...
And...
The Lens from which You Understand "Best" is Wrong.
How Do I Mean?
As Most People Look at Best, they View it Similar to a World Record.
If I complete One Today, that is My Best.
If I complete Five Tomorrow, that is My New Best.
It Creates a Linear Appearance to the Definition of "Best".
A New Record is Set.
So You Attempt to Beat the Previous Record.
You Continue to Push the Bar Higher and Higher...
Until One Day...
You Simply are Unable.
You Begin to Find that Pushing the Bar Higher becomes More and More of a Struggle.
Until a Point Where You Push the Bar just the Tiniest Bit Higher...
Then Can No Longer Touch It.
It Seems that Every Time You Attempt to Touch it Again, You Fall Lower...
And Lower...
And Lower...
The Reason You Feel That is because It is True.
You've Fallen into the Trap.
There are Indeed Two Aspects to This Trap.
The First is that You have Created an Unsustainable Bar to Reach.
As Humans, We Have Limits.
Boundaries that We Exist Within.
The Hours in a Day.
The Amount of Time Needed to Recover.
Our Other Humanly Needs that Are Important to Our Health.
Once We Reach Those Real Barriers, We Become Stuck.
But the Trap is Worse than This because We have Psychologically Created a Definition of "Potential"...
One Which Subconsciously "Requires" Us to Keep Pushing The Bar...
Which We Just Established has a Real Human Boundary.
Because Our Subconscious Definition of "Potential" Relies on Something Which is Fundamentally Impossible...
We Begin to "Believe" that Our Potential Will "Always" Be Outside of Our Reach.
This Begins a Stress Chain Reaction.
We "Want" to Reach Our Potential...
But Deny the Real Boundaries...
Which Block Us from Pushing the Bar of Our "Best" Higher.
Each Time this Happens...
We Become More Desperate...
Mentally and Psychologically the Stress of "Not" Pushing that Bar Further Begins to Grow.
Each Time We Miss the Bar...
The Stress of Missing Grows Further.
One Miss becomes Two...
Two Misses becomes Ten...
Ten Misses becomes a Hundred...
Which Begins to become "Evidence" of Us Being a "Failure".
Failure after Failure...
Again and Again...
Suddenly, We've Failed to Push the Bar More than the Amount of Times We have Successfully Pushed the Bar.
The Stress of Failing to Reach a New "Best" Bar begins to become Exponentially Stressful.
We Become More Desperate...
In Our Desperation, We Begin to Make Poor Decisions...
Decisions which Add Further Stressors to Our Lives and Make It Even More Challenging to Reach the Current Bar.
Eventually, our Stressors Cross what is Known as the Stress Threshold...
Which Pushes Us Into Dis-Stress.
The Dis-Stress Grows as We Continue to Miss the Bar...
Until We Become Consumed in Our Dis-Stress.
This Dis-Stress Prevents Us from Living Our Lives More Fully.
The Dis-Stress Becomes Worse and Worse Until We Become Entrenched in Burnout.
Then, in Burnout, we have Dropped to 5% of Our Productivity Potential...
It has Become Impossible to be Anywhere "Near" Our "Best" Bar...
Yet, We are Still in the Psychological Trap...
It is at this Point that One of Three Things Will Occur...
We Will Continue to Push Until Our Bodies Simply Break Down Too Much to Continue...
If Certain Things Do Not Break Down, then The Second Possibility can Occur, which is Death from Burnout.
Yes...
You Can Indeed Medically Die from Burnout, and it has happened to People as Young as their 20's.
Or...
The Third Option that Frequently presents itself is Learned Helplessness.
We Begin to Simply Believe that We Will Never Attain Our Potential...
If We Cannot Surpass this Previous Best...
Why Even Try to Move Toward Our Potential?
We May As Well Give Up Now.
At Least...
That is What the Learned Helplessness Convinces Us Of.
Yet, All of This Can Be Avoided By Understanding One Very Simple Truth...
To Reach Our Potential We "Do" Need to Hit Our Best...
But Our "Best" Is Never A Bar to Reach For.
Instead of a Bar that Constantly Gets Pushed Further and Further until it is Hopelessly Out of Reach...
Think of Our Best as a Moving Target that Changes Daily, based on Many Factors.
One which is "Always" within Our Daily Reach.
Each Day the Target Moves...
But to a Point We Can Always Still Get To.
One Day We May Be Struggling With Life...
So, Our Best that Day is a Bit Closer.
Other Days We Feel at Our Full Capacities...
So Our Best on those Days is Much Further, Yet Still Completely Possible to Reach.
The Only things that Can Prevent Us from Reaching Our Best...
Is Not Trying At All.
When We Begin to See Our Best in this Manner...
We Can No Longer Fall into the Psychological Trap.
If Today's Best was Less than Yesterday's...
That is Ok.
It is to Be Expected Sometimes.
If We Miss A Day...
That is Ok.
We Just Hit Our Best the Next Day.
When this Occurs, We Lose the Psychological Stressors that Burden Others.
As Others Drown themselves in Stressors, Designing their Own Vicious Cycles into the Abyss of their Own Creation...
You can Continue to Push Ahead...
Significantly Faster than those Suffocating in Burnout.
Suddenly...
You're Attaining Things You Never Thought Possible...
Leaving Others to Wonder How "You" Have Been Able to Reach Your Potential.
Life becomes Significantly Easier when We Understand what is Normal and Human.
It is Human for Our Best to Change from Day to Day.
That is Normal.
Understand that it is Ok for Your Best to Have Highs and Lows.
Avoid the Trap that So Many Fall Into.
Live Fully Into Your Potential.
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Now, the Question Becomes…
How can We Know if We are “Actually” Reaching Our Best on any Single Day…
Or if We are “Phoning It In”?
This tends to be the Question where Most “Performers” Get Hung Up On…
Which also “Pushes” them to Go Beyond their Current Limits…
And Drives them Quickly Into Burnout.
But here’s the thing…
There is a Way to Know Whether We’re Truly at Our Best.
It All has to Do With Our Psychophysiology.
Let’s Dive In…
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