The Problem With Asking Where Do I Fit?
The Metaphorical Expectation That Prevents Us From Seeking Our Potential
The Problem With Asking Where Do I Fit?
The Metaphorical Expectation That Prevents Us From Seeking Our Potential
Written by a human, for humans, always.
Many people feel lost in today’s world.
I get it.
It feels difficult to fit in.
So many of us are taught that we will find our place along the way...
But we look...
And look
And look...
Always asking...
Where do I fit?
But...
What if that was the wrong question?
What if it was always the wrong question?
Let’s look at the idea behind this question.
When you really stop to consider what the question is asking...
It is like turning ourselves into a puzzle piece...
Seeking the hole within the larger puzzle...
Where we “fit”.
It is an attractive metaphor because it is easy to understand...
But therein lies the trap.
Just because it is easy does not make it correct.
Let’s think about a puzzle piece.
It is unique...
Like each individual person is.
But...
It only fits in one puzzle...
Its dimensions are static, never changing...
Then once it is inserted into the specific hole of the puzzle...
It sits there.
Completing the puzzle.
The rest of these aspects do not reflect humans well...
And it actually creates a limited perspective of what we are capable of...
Which, if the metaphor sets up expectations, often subconsciously...
Then it prevents us from seeking our potential.
As humans...
We are able to fit into different types of environments.
Those environments change over time.
Sometimes for the better.
Sometimes for the worse.
If we stay in an environment that is crushing our souls and not using our abilities...
It feels awful.
With this...
Humans are not static.
We are capable of both growth and decay over time.
We even have the ability to decay in good ways and grow in harmful ways.
For instance, say someone has an addiction to something harmful...
Growth in that addiction will cause further harm...
But the decay of that addiction could save their life.
All of this to say...
That the lived experience of being human is so much vaster, complex, and more interesting...
Than fitting into a puzzle.
When you see yourself as a puzzle piece...
You begin to expect that, eventually, you’ll “find” the right environment to fit into.
But as you change...
And the environment changes...
You stop feeling like you “fit” and you begin to think it is your fault...
But it is just the opposite.
It is a natural consequence of life.
We can fill a role if we desire...
We can grow into that role...
Or we can grow out of that role.
This second aspect is also challenging for many people...
Because when they believe they have “found” their spot in the puzzle...
It can become difficult for them to grow into something more...
Which eats away at their psychophysiology.
We have an innate desire to move toward greater potential in our lives...
But if we limit ourselves to the spot we currently fill...
How can we even begin to move toward something greater?
The answer for most people...
Is they do not.
They begin to accept the comfort zone of where they are...
Thinking it will always remain the same...
Except...
That also does not reflect reality...
Because in life everything is either growing or decaying...
And usually what we believe to be static...
Is actually a slow decay.
It does not happen immediately...
But over time...
We begin to see slight signs of the decay...
Then they grow more quickly until they suddenly become out of control.
These changes happen on an exponential level.
So, if seeing ourselves as a puzzle piece does not benefit us...
How else can we see ourselves?
We could look at ourselves as plants in a garden.
Able to be cultivated in beautiful ways...
Moved from one area to another to demonstrate our greatest qualities...
Able to move from one garden to another if the garden falls into disarray.
May you never be cursed with fitting in.
How will you cultivate yourself?
To Your Sageship,
Cody
P.S. - It can be Difficult to Figure Out How To Achieve…
Stress Optimization
Psychophysiological Freedom
An Exemplar Wayset
If you want Aid on the Path to Sageship, let me know - I’ll be Your Coach and Guide.
Just Send Me A Message.