The Choice Of Fatherhood
Experiencing Both Sides Of That Choice
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The Choice Of Fatherhood
Experiencing Both Sides Of That Choice
I always like to say that I was Raised by Three Women.
My Mom.
My Grandmother.
My Aunt.
Until High School, they were my Parents.
Now, what I do not always talk about is the other side of the Parental Equation.
Fatherhood.
The Reason that I was Raised by Three Women is Quite Simple.
My Biological Father made a Choice.
Long Before I had any inkling of what a Parent Was he Decided Not to be a Part of My Life.
He had Other Children, and Decided to be a Part of their Lives...
But Not Mine.
So from a Very Young Age I Knew Something that Most Children Do Not...
Fatherhood is a Choice.
Just because Someone "Has" a Child...
Does Not Mean that they will "Choose" to be a Father to that Child.
And I Know that Many Choose Not to be a Father.
I'm Older Now, so I Know there are Many Reasons "Why" someone may Choose Not to be a Father.
It is Not an Easy Job.
There's Pressure.
You have the Power to Shape and Mold a Life...
But that can be a Scary Thing to Know.
Some Do Not Feel Ready.
Some Feel Unworthy.
Even if I Do Not Agree with the Reasons that people Choose Not to be a Father...
Do Not Mean I Do Not Understand Why.
But Here's the Other Thing I Do Not Always Talk About...
There's Another Reason I Know that Fatherhood is a Choice.
You Know how I said my Mothers were my Parents...
Until High School?
That is because in High School my Mom met another Man.
Travis.
He Too Made a Choice.
When I was a Teenager...
Which is Never an Easy Time to Enter Someone's Life...
He Decided to be a Father to Me.
Was I the Easiest Kid to Handle?
No, I Was Not.
I Did the Kinds of Things that Stupid Teenagers Do.
Things that Travis thought I Did Out of Spite or Resentment...
When the Truth was that I just Did Not Think Things Through and Learned the Hard Way that Some Actions have Consequences...
A Couple Holes in the Walls and the Breaking the Glass from a Picture Frame come to mind...
But Despite the Challenges I Presented...
He Made a Choice.
He Decided to be My Father.
He Taught Me How to Drive.
He Helped Me When I Struggled.
He Prepared Me for College.
He also Showed Me that You can be an Absolutely Amazing Father, even if you come "Late to the Game".
He Did Not "Need" to be a Father to Me.
I was in High School.
My Mom made sure that I had Good Male Role Models throughout my Youth.
He Could have Simply "Given Me Space" and Existed within the same Household.
But He Really Stepped Up and Showed Me that He "Wanted" to be More.
He Wanted to be My Dad.
Which is Awesome, because I Know that it is a Choice.
A Choice that is Not Easy...
A Choice that Many Say No To...
But He Chose to be My Dad.
He then was Blessed with his Own Children after that.
Siblings whose Lives I get to be a Part of Today.
He's Now a Father to Three, including Me.
And I Couldn't Ask for a Better Dad.
So this Father's Day, I want to Recognize My Dad, Travis...
Along with Every Father Out there Who has Made the Choice...
And Continues to Make the Choice to be a Father.
I Know it is Not Always Easy...
There Are Struggles...
There Will Be More Struggles in the Future...
But Being a Father is an Incredibly Important Role in a Kid's Life...
And the Future.
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The World Needs Strong Families.
So Today, I’m going to make this Simple.
Go Spend Time with Your Family.
Especially those who Chose to be a Father or Father-Like Role Model in Your Life.
We, as Humans, are Interdependent.
We “Need” Others in Our Lives.
We Must Tend to those Relationships.
Build Them.
Appreciate Them.
Love Them.
So, Go Spend Time with Your Family.
However You Define Family.
We’ll be Back Here Tomorrow on the Path to Sageship.
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