Are Your Emotions Really The Problem?
Other Things To Consider When You Feel Your Emotions Are Wrong
Are Your Emotions Really The Problem?
Other Things To Consider When You Feel Your Emotions Are Wrong
Written by a human, for humans, always.
Emotions.
We all have them.
Most of us struggle with them.
But the question that is worth asking...
Are your emotions really the problem?
Is it the emotions themselves that are the cause of our struggles?
Or...
Could there be other explanations?
The reality of it is...
The emotions themselves...
Are never the problem.
All emotions are one simple thing...
Messages.
They are messages that our bodies provide for us to indicate...
Something.
This brings up the question of “what” do our emotions indicate?
That is really the question we should be asking
There are a couple of things that you need to consider when you experience problems.
For instance...
Perhaps the problem is not the emotion itself...
But our relationship with the emotion.
A clear example of this comes from this question...
What negative behaviors do you experience?
Now, what you answer is an indicator of what emotions you have a bad relationship with.
Like I said...
All emotions are simply messages.
That is it.
Messages are not inherently “good”, “bad”, “positive”, or “negative”.
Emotions are not negative...
But we can have a negative relationship with an emotion...
Even emotions we generally consider “positive”.
Let me explain.
“Anger” is not inherently a positive or negative emotion.
If your relationship with anger leads to you punching or attacking others...
That is a negative relationship that you have with Anger.
Anger is not the problem...
Your relationship with anger is the problem.
People can experience what is sometimes called “Righteous Anger”...
Where their anger drives their behavior to achieve justice through good means...
Something that drives many lawyers.
That is a more positive relationship with anger.
Anger is not the problem.
In the other direction...
Sometimes people might feel joy and believe that they “do not deserve to feel that”.
Joy is not the problem...
Your relationship with joy is the problem.
What we need to begin to understand at this point is that the emotions we experience are only messages...
But we may need to work on our relationship with those emotions.
What else could the problem be?
You may laugh a bit at this...
But maybe the emotion is just a signal that you’re missing nutrients.
If you have ever claimed (or heard others claim) that they are “Hangry”...
They have learned that they experience anger (or extreme annoyance) when they are hungry.
Here’s the thing...
Being hangry is actually a bigger problem than just needing to eat.
People who claim they are hangry are experiencing an energy (Mg-ATP) generation problem.
They are not generating enough energy (Mg-ATP) to sustain their behavior...
And the body sends out a message indicating that energy stores are too low...
Then, anything that “gets in the way” of refilling those stores becomes perceived as a “potential threat” to your survival...
Hence, why you get angry and annoyed at others.
But there is often another problem people experience around nutrients...
The inability to create certain neurochemicals and hormones.
See...
All emotions are generated from different neurochemicals and hormones...
Which need nutrients to build them.
If you do not have the nutrients...
You cannot experience the emotions that require those nutrients.
So...
You may be locked out of experiencing certain emotions because you lack the nutrients required to experience them.
If you get the nutrients, you cannot guarantee that you will suddenly feel the emotions you want...
But without the nutrients, you can guarantee you’ll never feel the emotions you want.
We still have other things to consider, however.
The next thing to consider is our identities.
Yes, plural.
We have 10 categories of identities...
All of which have multiple identities within them.
How many of your identities do you know?
Here’s the thing...
Whether you know what those identities are or not...
Does not really matter to your emotions.
You may have subconscious identities...
Which then drive how you perceive different situations...
And those perceptions, true or not, may deeply influence how you experience life.
For instance...
If you subconsciously have an identity of “Loser”...
You may subconsciously look at every single bad thing that happens...
Which then becomes “proof” of why you are a “Loser”.
This may even be so far as to you dropping your writing utensil and making this claim about yourself.
Does dropping something make you a loser?
No!
It makes you human.
But because you hold the identity of “Loser”, you turn an event into something else...
Creating a meaning that doesn’t inherently exist there...
But which does impact the emotions we experience.
The emotions might not be the problem...
You might need to learn the identities you are holding, identify the helpful identities and hold them more closely and/or change the identities that are hindering you.
The majority of identities are inherently transient...
Never permanent...
Nor should they be.
We live in a world of change, so things should naturally change.
Even if the word is the same, the meaning will often change.
For instance, the word “Parent” might stay the same...
But what it means to be a “Parent” is very different between a newborn, toddler, teenager, adult, and any other stage of life or difference that exists between children.
When we look at identities more broadly...
We can discover that we can change our identities in such a way that benefits us tremendously...
And changes our emotional landscape.
Are there other things that can happen around our emotions?
Absolutely.
Next, we can look at our nervous system.
What is fascinating about our nervous system...
Is that we can store aspects of memories in our nervous system...
What is called “Memory Capsules”...
And those can remain and even expand based on “similar” experiences...
Even to the point of experiencing physical pain where the emotions are kept.
Now here is the thing...
An emotion you experience...
May logically make no sense in a specific scenario...
But it may be subconsciously related to a Memory Capsule that has been stored in our nervous system.
It may not even be a very close relation...
It could be a color...
A general shape...
A sound...
Any sort of “Aspect” that may have a slight resemblance.
So the emotion may not be the problem here...
It may actually be something unresolved in your nervous system.
What is important to understand here...
Is that the “typical” methods of working through emotions...
Do not work on the nervous system.
So you can practice those methodologies on the emotions you’re experiencing...
But if the problem stems from your nervous system, then the emotions will not resolve or change.
If you want to resolve those emotions...
You need to work through a nervous system methodology.
There is still one other potential challenge you could be facing when you experience emotions...
Other people.
Now, something that most people do not completely realize...
Is that we can experience emotions...
But the emotions are not actually “our” emotions.
We can, and often do, experience the emotional states of others...
And as humans, we can “pull” each other into each other’s emotional states.
The technical term here is “Entrainment”.
One person’s emotions can be “pulled” or “Entrained” to match another person’s emotions.
Here’s the thing...
We can learn to distinguish the difference between “our” emotions and when “others’” emotions are attempting to Entrain us.
We can also learn how to resist becoming Entrained to others’ emotions.
But...
Most people simply do not know how.
So...
They become more susceptible to becoming Entrained by whoever they are around.
This is a part of the reason why Burnout has become such a problem in the workforce...
Why it continues to become worse...
And why most organizations are making no progress in resolving the overwhelming Burnout in their organizations.
The majority, if not the entire organization, is stuck in Group Burnout.
This is an even larger problem for businesses because in Burnout we, as humans, become capped at 5% or less of our Productivity Potential...
And yes...
We can and frequently do move into Negative Productivity.
If you do not know how to avoid Entrainment...
You are most likely going to get Entrained into negative emotions...
And the emotions you experience may not end up being yours.
So this brings us to the reality...
The emotions you are experiencing are never the problem.
They are just messages from our bodies.
If your emotions feel wrong...
It is because there is a message that you are not comprehending...
Either because you are ignoring it or you have not learned how to understand it.
There is hope...
You “can” learn the meaning of the different messages...
And it is important you do...
Because if you do not, then you will always feel like you are at war with your emotions...
When they were never really the problem to begin with.
To Your Sageship,
Cody
P.S. - It can be Difficult to Figure Out How To Achieve…
Stress Optimization
Psychophysiological Freedom
An Exemplar Wayset
If you want Aid on the Path to Sageship, let me know - I’ll be Your Coach and Guide.
Just Send Me A Message.