The Help-Harm Dilemma In Business

Why So Many Fail To Get The Results They Seek

Written by a human, for humans, always.

You need help in your business...

Whatever kind it is.

Whether it is...

An employee you need to hire...

A manager or executive leader...

A consulting agency for a specific service you need help with...

A coach or mentor to help provide insights going into the future...

Or any other type of help...

The typical result ends up being similar.

More harm than good.

But why is this?

How can it be...

That there are so many products and services...

That are designed to “help” us...

But fail?

It was something I first recognized in the Leadership Development Industry where I began my entrepreneurial career.

A $350 billion industry...

That completely failed 80% of the time...

With “limited” success the remainder.

How could that be?

One of the aspects of this that I discovered is the Help-Harm Dilemma.

How does this work?

Most people believe that helping is simply that...

Help.

But it is actually quite a bit more complicated than that.

Let me give you an example.

Let’s look at water.

It is essential for us to survive.

Now, there is the “general” recommendation of drinking 1/2 your body weight in ounces...

If you weigh 200 lbs., then you are recommended to drink 100 ounces of water.

But here is the thing...

What happens if you only drink 1 ounce of water per day and do not get enough liquid by any other means?

You begin to die of dehydration.

What happens if you begin to drink excessively, such as 1,000 ounces of water in a day?

You begin to risk things such as drowning, brain swelling, electrolyte imbalances, and your bladder exploding.

If you get too little or too much water...

You end up harming yourself more than helping.

It is no different in business.

It is possible to help someone too little in business...

And they get no results.

It is also possible to help someone too much...

Making them dependent on you.

But it actually goes further than this...

Because there is also an aspect of duration to this.

Some help is needed only for a short period of time.

Sometimes that is all that is needed for that specific type of help.

Other times the product or service becomes significantly less valuable over time.

A great example of this is “marketing techniques”, of which many begin to become less effective as trends change...

Which is often these days.

Other help may be needed over a longer period of time...

But the way that help plays out may change over that time.

There is also the issue...

That the type of help provided is not really where the problem lies.

So, even if what is done is “technically” right...

It doesn’t really provide the help needed because it is the wrong “type” of help.

In any of these challenges around duration are discovered...

You begin to move into more harm territories.

This is what is perhaps most important to understand about this dilemma in business though...

Most people, even well intentioned individuals, do not have any concept of how this works.

Not truly.

Even within organizations that have training in the concept...

Which I have taken some...

Rarely do they have the capability to teach it in a satisfying way that accounts for all the different ways this could play out.

For instance...

I have worked with a number of different leaders and entrepreneurs over the years...

And one thing I noticed...

Is that even if they “could” use help in leadership capabilities and capacities...

Usually that is not their real problem.

Far more often...

I have discovered that there are other problems that actually get in the way of leadership capabilities...

Total stress load from all aspects of life, including non-work related events...

Nutritional deficiencies which get in the way of producing energy (Mg-ATP)...

Memory capsules that have been locked in the nervous system and become expressed at catastrophic times...

Emotional traumas that become triggered at inopportune moments...

Getting blocked from flow states...

And more.

But if you do not know that these can become problems...

Or how to resolve these types of problems...

Or what they look like within different scenarios...

Then you are not going to be helpful.

For most individuals...

When they fail to see and understand these types of things...

The attempt to help...

But do not have the capacity to...

Causing who they are working with to not get the help they need...

While undergoing harms such as wasted money, time, and frustration.

See...

To truly help people...

You need to have an understanding of what specific type of help is needed...

At what time...

In the proper dosage...

For the proper period of time.

If someone cannot provide all of these things...

Or know where they fit into it...

Or “if” they fit into it...

The result will be that they will be unable to provide real help...

Usually giving too much or too little of what is actually needed within the circumstance.

There is a reason that I have spent so long getting degrees and certifications in different aspects of psychophysiology in my career...

And continue to research these further...

It is because I saw where the issues were and wanted to be able to provide my clients with the help they actually needed...

At the time they needed it...

In the proper amount they needed if for...

For the amount of time they actually needed it for.

When you actually understand how the help-harm spectrum works...

You can begin to navigate from one area of help to another...

And provide what is truly needed.

Plus...

If the person you are working with is responsible...

They will also be able to navigate, correctly, when they are “not” the person or organization to help...

And will point you directly to what you actually need.

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So, how can we go about determining this in business?

That is what we will look at next.

Let’s Dive In…

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The Business Dependency Trap

The Sad Result Of What Happens When We Fail To Have True Interdependence

Written by a human, for humans, always.

She was 26 years old...

Living in India...

Struggling with 14-hour days from a company that did not care about her well-being...

As is common in the corporate world today.

She wanted to live a different life...

One where she was appreciated...

Where she could effectively use her talents and skills...

And where she could be human.

So she took a leap...

Became an entrepreneur.

She looked at her options...

And decided...

She wanted to build her business on LinkedIn.

It was going really well...

Having success with clients...

Building a significant following...

In the middle of closing multiple new deals.

Then...

Without warning...

Without explanation...

She was locked out of everything.

LinkedIn told her that she had “violated” some rule...

But only gave automated and vague responses that gave no details.

When she asked for her information...

Nothing was given.

Her entire business...

Was shut down...

For no obvious reason ever given.

She is now considering going back into the corporate world because she needs to survive.

This story...

Sadly...

Is one that is becoming far more common.

LinkedIn is not the first company to do something like this to a business...

It will not be the last.

Facebook destroyed many businesses when they decided to put less focus on certain parts of their platforms.

YouTube destroyed many businesses when they decided they wanted to focus on shorts to compete with TikTok.

Similar stories have happened with Instagram, X, and TikTok when these platforms suddenly changed their algorithms, rules, or decided to put AI in charge of things.

LinkedIn has joined the fray now.

Here’s the thing, though...

All of these businesses have fallen into the Business Dependency Trap.

How does it work?

Essentially...

These platforms make claims...

That they “care” about businesses...

That they will “support” these businesses...

That they will have success by moving to “their” platform.

And at first...

People do.

In some cases...

They have “so” much success...

That they built their entire business around that platform.

But...

What these businesses do not recognize...

Is that they are actually in a dependent relationship.

What do I mean?

They build their businesses in such a way that they “need” the platforms...

But...

The platforms are not dependent on their businesses.

It is an unequal relationship.

It is not a problem in the beginning...

Until...

One day...

The platform that had been “so dedicated” prior...

Decides to “move in a different direction”.

The sad part...

Is that the platform can do it...

Whenever they want...

Because they were never in a dedicated relationship with the businesses.

On the other hand...

These businesses...

Were completely dependent on the platform and how it supported them.

This is the Business Dependency Trap.

When one business becomes overly dependent on a business relationship...

But the other side is not equally dedicated or dependent.

The result...

Is that the vast majority of the time...

The latter will eventually change interests...

And in that process...

Destroys the business relationship for their own gain...

While the former is simply left with nothing.

We have seen it before...

We will see it again.

So...

What can businesses and leaders do to avoid this fate?

There is one of three things.

You can either diversify...

Not become over-dependent on any singular platform...

But often at the cost of needing more resources to keep up with demands...

Or...

You use a platform to the same extent that they use you...

Knowing that the terms of the relationship could change at any moment...

So you purposefully find a way to get your business “off” that platform to something you can control...

Or...

You create interdependent relationships.

This last option is, sadly, the one we see the least in our world today.

A truly interdependent relationship requires multiple parties to work together...

For each other’s benefits.

Now, what makes this last option so difficult...

Is that many people “believe” this is the type of relationship they are getting into with these platforms they are on.

But it is not.

Not really.

How can you tell if the relationship is truly interdependent...

Or if there is a business dependency trap?

Follow the money.

In a truly interdependent relationship...

When one company succeeds, the other does too, at a similar level.

This is where most businesses fail to see the full picture.

They “think” that on these platforms...

There is an interdependent relationship...

Where their success also leads to the platform’s success...

And it does...

But at a vastly smaller level than they believe.

That is the problem.

It is a very lopsided relationship...

One that does not really play a role in the decisions of the platforms.

Their focus is going to be on where their greatest dollars can be found...

And the rest...

Becomes collateral.

When you are looking at interdependent relationships...

You need to be on truly similar terms.

If you are not...

While building a significant portion of your business around that relationship...

You will always risk this final result.

My advice to every business owner and leader that I work with...

Is not to become dependent on any singular platform.

Most organizations...

Do not have the weight that would be required to establish a truly interdependent relationship with these platforms.

That is just not how these types of platforms work.

They will gladly take your money...

But do not expect them to be your friend and ally.

You can use their services...

But understand the reality that they do not really care about you or your business.

They will happily make you collateral damage if they believe something else will be better for them...

Even if they are absolutely wrong...

As we have seen with Meta’s shattered Metaverse dreams.

If you do end up using their services...

Do not use them in such a way as to become dependent on them.

Pull your audience off their platform somehow.

Create a community off their platform...

Get them on an email list...

Get their phone numbers to text them...

But do not become dependent on them...

Because when you do...

That is when the trap becomes complete...

And you are at the mercy of whatever whims they have...

Usually...

To your detriment.

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What can you do?

So that you do not fall into this trap?

That is what we will look at next.

I have 6 rules to follow.

Let’s Dive In…

Read more

Becoming Unrecognizable

The Slow Revelation Of The Wrong Kind Of Success

Written by a human, for humans, always.

So many people are focused on becoming a success...

But the question is...

At what cost?

I was reading an article written by someone who was “sixty-something”...

Had all sorts of credentials...

Successes...

But throughout the entire article, they discussed...

How they did not recognize who they were in the mirror.

They had become...

Unrecognizable.

They had dedicated so much time...

So much effort...

So much of their life...

To design an image...

But when they really stopped...

They realized that they were not the image they had built.

They had created an idol of themselves that they knew...

Deep down...

Was not who they were.

But they also...

Did not know who they were.

They had spent so much of themselves dedicated to designing this idol...

That they never learned who they were.

They were not upset about what they had accomplished in their life...

They still considered what they did successful...

Yet...

When they faced themselves...

They had become unrecognizable.

When did it happen?

How long did it take for them to realize they no longer knew themselves?

What did they miss along the way?

Here is what most people never realize...

There are different types of success.

You can have success...

Even successes you are proud of obtaining...

Yet...

Still not feel like you are successful...

Like something is missing...

That if you just add one more thing...

A certification...

A degree...

A deal...

A recognition...

A milestone...

A project...

Maybe then...

You will feel that you have the success that you have desired.

But this story has played before...

It will play again...

And the chapter of the story ends the same way...

Something is always missing.

There is a reason...

But many people never discover it.

The reason?

It is the wrong type of success.

It may not be “bad”...

The success may have even done real good in the world around them...

Yet...

It is unfulfilling...

Unsatisfying...

Bitter.

To dedicate so much of your life to finding that which you seek...

Months...

Years...

Decades...

Only to discover that all of it leaves you feeling this way...

Can be difficult to face...

Crushing...

Defeating.

This is what so many people struggle to understand...

The chapter comes to an end...

And they discover they do not recognize who they are...

But what chapter are they on?

And perhaps more importantly...

What will they do in the next chapter?

This is often the defining moment in the book of a life...

That determines whether the story being told...

Is one where a hero discovers the truth...

Changing their ways so that they can come to the truth their heart and soul desperately seek...

Or...

Whether it is a tragedy...

Where the protagonist follows the insane circle...

Missing the signs and clues again and again...

Following the same patterns in different ways each time...

But ending in the same result...

Until the final chapter closes...

At the feet of the angel of death...

In regret.

How would it feel...

To spend all of your life...

Never truly knowing...

Who you truly are?

Reaching those final moments...

To discover that you have never truly known who you were.

Sadly...

This will be the fate of most...

Not because it is what they deeply want...

But because they never truly stop to question what their lives have been.

Never stop to ask...

Who they are.

That causes them to lose...

The greatest success that one can obtain.

Who are you?

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What is most sad to me…

Is that I can talk about this…

Say these things…

And people can read what I say…

Take in the information…

Believe they understand…

Completely and fully…

Yet still miss the entire point.

Still…

I cannot give up trying to help others understand.

So, we will look at what you are not…

To help you better discover…

Who you are.

Let’s Dive In…

Read more

Pathologizing Normal

The Challenge Of Identity And Limitations In Our Society

Written by a human, for humans, always.

When I was young...

I had a few different challenges.

A speech impediment.

Difficulty writing due to being naturally ambidextrous.

Reading challenges.

On top of that...

I was considered “Borderline ADD/ADHD”.

What does that mean?

Essentially...

My mom had the option to have me medicated...

To have me formally diagnosed...

That I was on the border “enough” that I “could” be formally diagnosed...

Or I could be left undiagnosed, and we would see where I ended up over time.

My mother’s decision...

Was to leave me undiagnosed.

And I’m really thankful for that...

Because here is the thing...

This was right around the time when ADD/ADHD began to be “diagnosed” in a larger segment of the population...

When the qualifications began to expand and loosen.

More and more often...

People with fewer difficulties than I...

Were being regularly diagnosed.

Over time...

I was able to figure out how to work through (mostly) all of my challenges.

Able to write legibly (though it is not pretty).

Eventually moved into advanced reading courses (though I still read slowly).

And today, I do public speaking (though sometimes I still get a little tongue-tied as the speech impediment occasionally makes a surprise appearance, a great opportunity to get the audience to laugh and feel more comfortable).

Importantly...

I have learned how to work around focus to keep myself going in the direction I want in life...

And it seems to be going pretty well so far, given the state of my education and career.

But so many people...

Who had significantly fewer struggles than I did...

Who were fully diagnosed as the criteria loosened...

Ended up struggling significantly worse than I.

Now, some may argue that the drugs given to many children end up causing more problems than anything...

That is not a conversation that I am trying to have at this time.

What I want to get at is something more psychological in nature...

That of identity and limitations.

See...

When most people are diagnosed with something...

Such as ADD/ADHD...

They will say something like...

“I am ADD/ADHD”.

What is that?

It is a statement of identity...

I am something.

This is what happens with most diagnoses.

We, as humans, begin to identify “as” the diagnosis.

What does this do to us?

For many people...

It can bring a sense of gratitude...

An explanation for the challenges they face in life...

But at the same time...

It can easily become the “reason” for where they are in life...

A limitation.

But this is where it becomes important to us now...

Is the diagnosis a real limitation?

Or is it creating a glass ceiling that we “could” break through...

But never end up attempting “because” we identify as the diagnosis?

I am not saying that there are not “real” diagnoses that exist and “substantial” challenges that people face...

I live with my 40-year-old brother-in-law, who was diagnosed with non-verbal autism when he was young, with real challenges he has to face daily.

What I am getting at...

Is whether the challenges we face...

Are truly factors of something diagnosed...

Or undiagnosed in some cases (which you should “always” get an official diagnosis from a good healthcare professional if you believe you should be)...

Or...

If the limitations we have in our lives...

Are more surmountable than we realize.

See...

There are many people who believe they have challenges...

And as diagnosis criteria have loosened, more healthcare professionals who end up diagnosing...

But should we really be so ready to diagnose?

Or...

Are we starting to pathologize normal?

See...

If we begin to “overdiagnose” what is “relatively” normal...

We run a risk of people over-identifying with their diagnosis...

And failing to live up to their potential...

Not because it is not possible...

But because they “believe” that their diagnosis limits what they are capable of.

How many people...

Are living small lives...

Simply because they do not know...

That they are capable of more.

What makes it even worse...

Is that by “saying” this...

I could easily be accused of not being empathetic to their challenges.

But it is quite the opposite...

I am not denying they have challenges...

Rather, I feel horrible for them because they are absolutely capable of overcoming those challenges...

Yet may never even attempt it...

Because they so deeply identify with their diagnosis...

That they do not even truly try.

They give up before they learn how to work with their challenges or around their challenges.

They get frustrated because they believe they are trapped...

When the truth is that they are far more capable than they realize.

That their limitations are shadows upon a piece of paper...

That they could easily tear through...

If they sincerely tried...

Not to the extent that they believe their diagnosis limits them to...

But to the extent that they are actually capable of.

See...

A large part of the reason that I have come so far in my life...

Is because my mother challenged me...

Pushed me...

Not to accept the limitations that I faced...

But to push through them...

To rise higher.

She taught me to not give up...

To not give in...

To get back up...

To try again...

To adapt and change tactics if necessary...

Until I figured out how to do it in my own way and move forward.

I still write with my right hand with a left-handed hook (Because my right mirrored my left being ambidextrous)...

I still have difficulty sitting still and reading fully through things...

I still stumble in my speech and have to refocus my mouth to enunciate correctly...

But these challenges do not stop me.

I consistently read scientific research and doctoral-level textbooks in my work...

I get on stages and speak my messages to others...

I have written and published 1,200+ daily articles...

I have been recognized at levels most people only dream of...

Not because I am anything special...

But because I never identified with my challenges...

And figured out how to overcome my limitations.

There are people out there who have significantly fewer challenges than I...

Who are not living up to their potential...

Not because they are truly unable...

But because we have pathologized normal in our society...

Have identified as their diagnoses...

Been told by people they trust that these will prevent them from more...

And they have accepted limitations that do not really exist.

Perhaps...

We should stop pathologizing what is actually normal...

Stop accepting limitations and work through challenges, even if it is unorthodox...

Stop identifying as whatever diagnoses are given...

And rise into something greater.

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So, what can we do around these challenges?

What is within our power?

That is what we will look at next.

Let’s Dive In…

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Your Season Of Life

Understanding Your Time And Place

Written by a human, for humans, always.

Everything has a time and place.

A time to root ourselves.

A time to grow.

A time to prepare for the challenges.

A time to express our greatest aspects.

Much like a flower or tree.

But which season are you in right now?

It is important to know...

Because if you get it wrong...

It will end poorly.

If you try to grow before you have rooted yourself...

The slightest wind will cause you to collapse.

If you try to express yourself before you have grown enough...

There will be nothing to show of it.

If you are not properly prepared for the challenges that are inevitable...

They will destroy all of your efforts.

So often, I see people struggle with the season of their life.

They try to grow in a place they were never designed to be...

Either unable to use their strengths at all...

Or attempting to use their strengths in ways that do not quite work.

They try to show their greatest aspects...

But have not found the place that allows them to shine at their greatest...

Nor taken the time to grow.

They try to grow and grow and grow...

Never expressing their value...

Collapsing from the growth that is never used.

They try to push themselves at the worst of times...

Unable to withstand the forces that come...

Crushing them in their rush to reach a new stage.

You need to know the season you are in.

There is nothing wrong...

With taking time...

Finding the right time...

Making the proper preparations...

Demonstrating where you are so far.

Each type of flower or tree has a different seasonality...

Different ways in which they express themselves...

Just as each person has a different path.

The wild oat’s seed will walk, literally, until it finds the right place for it to grow.

The oak tree takes its time to take root and grow...

But once it reaches a point, its magnificence continues to stand tall.

The bluebonnet finds its place and time to reveal its beauty...

Then, once it has finished, it prepares its seeds for the next lifecycle.

Not one of these journies is the same...

Yet each has its own utility...

Its own beauty...

Its own power.

If any one of these attempted to live as another...

It would never express what it has to offer.

The truth is...

Most people, sadly, will never express themselves as they were meant to be.

For they do not know their seasons...

They miss all of their opportunities...

Until...

It is too late.

Know the seasons of your life...

Do not live in one too little or too long.

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How do we go about determining the season we are in?

That is what we will look at next.

Let’s Dive In…

Read more

Empathetic Empowerment Or Enfeebling Enablement?

The Question Psychophysiology Faces In Today’s World

Written by a human, for humans, always.

I am not going to tell you what to believe.

How certain things should or should not be looked at.

But rather, I want you to consider something...

Something important.

See...

We live in a world with a few things that occur simultaneously.

We want to provide help to people.

We want people to feel empowered.

We want to provide answers to people.

But...

What happens when these begin to come at odds against each other?

Are we providing people with...

Empathetic Empowerment?

Or...

Enfeelbing Enablement?

Let’s look at psychology as an example.

We look at the mental state of someone...

We can give them a diagnosis for their current mental state.

But is that diagnosis empowering to them?

Or is it enfeebling?

If we seek to be empathetic and change the name of the diagnosis to something more empowering...

Are we really empowering them?

Or are we enabling something that is not healthy for them?

If we enable something unhealthy...

Does it end up enfeebling them?

If so, are we really being empathetic by trying to make the client feel more empowered?

With this...

If we change the terms one way or the other...

Does that even do anything?

What does it actually help change?

Or are we just wrapping a bow around the problem and pretending like that fixes it?

If that is all we are doing...

Is that actually empathetic or empowering?

Or are we really just enfeebling others while paying lip service and virtue signalling?

We can also look at physiology.

We are quick to diagnose things...

Quicker to say that there is nothing that can be done about these.

But are we sure about that?

How do we know?

Are giving death sentence diagnoses empowerment?

Is it empathetic to make people feel hopeless?

Or does it contribute to them feeling enfeebled, which hastens their bodily decline?

Does that mean we are enabling their sickness?

But it is not like we cannot tell people what is happening.

At the same time.

Is it really beneficial to drill down and get more and more specific with these types of diagnoses?

Or does it just become more and more confusing and cause deeper fears?

When do we draw a line between what is helpful and unhelpful?

Is there anything we can do that will empower them beyond what we do?

Is it really enough to just provide a diagnosis?

Or should we expect more?

These are the different types of ways these all play out.

But the question remains.

When are we actually demonstrating empathetic empowerment?

And when have we crossed a line into enfeeling enablement?

These are the types of challenging questions that I feel we rarely ask in the world of psychophysiology...

And so often...

We end up causing vastly more harm than good.

We all desire to be individuals and organizations that provide empathetic empowerment...

But I watch so many organizations begin to blur so many lines...

So many individuals who, usually, intend well but create new and worse problems.

In these types of situations...

Are we really helping people...

Or are we expanding a network of victims?

Do we truly stand for people’s best interests...

Or are we making people worse by our ill-defined boundaries on these topics?

I am not here to tell you the answers to these questions...

But they are important questions to consider.

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Why Most People Are Not Persuasive

A Simple Strategy To Get People To Actually Listen To You

Written by a human, for humans, always.

Most people believe they are brilliant...

Worth listening to...

Able to provide so much...

To others...

Maybe even the world.

Yet...

When they actually begin to speak with others...

Especially those they are trying to convince otherwise...

They fail.

They do not land with others.

Except, maybe, those who already agree with them.

But that does not really move the needle.

It completely fails to make any form of progress...

Only designing an echo chamber that results in nothing changing for the better.

So...

Why is it that most people are not persuasive?

The answer is...

They do not actually know who they are speaking to.

Not really.

So many people have a preconceived idea of who they are communicating with...

And that is why they fail.

They try to be persuasive...

Not to the real human being they face...

But to the caricature they have designed in their mind.

The result...

Is that the person they are trying to persuade...

Knows that the person speaking at them...

Does not know them...

And likely...

Is not actually interested in getting to know them.

The result...

Is that no one listens.

You completely fail to be persuasive.

Here’s the reality...

No one will ever listen to you...

Unless they believe you are willing to both listen to and understand them.

If you fail on either of these...

You will never...

Ever...

Be persuasive.

It is really that simple.

I see so many people in the world today...

Who think that they are making a dent in the world because they put something into the world...

But really...

They are not accomplishing anything of note because they do not understand those they are trying to persuade.

Their efforts are all absolutely in vain.

Some of those individuals...

Put a “lot” of work into accomplishing nothing.

Every single day...

Making new types of content...

Trying to convince others to listen to them...

All failing.

In fact...

Many of these individuals are not just failing to be persuasive...

But their caricatures of who they believe they are talking to is so off base...

That they are actually pushing away people who used to be their allies.

Yes, it is possible to be so poor at this...

That you become dissuasive.

Creating new enemies where there were none before.

So if you do not want this to happen...

There is a really simple strategy you can utilize to help you become more persuasive...

Get to know who you are trying to persuade.

Not in theory.

Not based on what you hear.

Not according to those who disagree with them.

Get to know the real human beings.

What they are hoping for.

What they are afraid of.

What they like and dislike.

How they are living in their real lives.

What is impacting them and their community.

What values they have.

I have found that it is so rare today for people to take any real amount of time to learn about others.

They are so consumed with themselves...

Their problems.

Their beliefs.

Their values.

Their fears.

That they completely ignore all other people in the world...

This ends up...

Usually unintentionally...

Pushing everyone else away.

This is not how relationships are formed.

How communities are built.

How the world is improved.

These types of things only occur when we begin to work together...

In unity...

Actively seeking to understand each other.

If you earnestly and honestly seek to understand others...

You will become more persuasive...

Because you will begin to actually know what will speak to them...

Not through words alone...

But into their soul.

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The Mediocrity Trap

How Most Leaders Unknowingly Destroy Innovation... Usually Irreparably

Written by a human, for humans, always.

One thing that I have learned in the world of business...

Is that many leaders claim to want innovation...

But do everything wrong to get it.

You see this in the largest organizations...

Where they created something innovative...

And then...

Nothing...

For years...

Even decades...

Being forced either to purchase truly innovative competitors...

Or eventually...

Be removed by those competitors.

But here is the question...

How does it happen?

How is it that so many organizations...

Especially after they get access to significant resources...

And claim to want and push for innovation...

End up being completely mediocre...

Failing to innovate at every turn?

The answer is actually far more simple than most people realize.

It has to do with a competing desire in organizations...

Between innovation and stability.

What do I mean?

Innovation...

The Exponential Innovation that truly redefines industries...

Is disruptive.

It requires you to break the current rules.

To change the perceptions of people.

To reveal that what was is no longer desirable in the face of what could be.

But...

What most leaders push for in their organizations...

Is stability.

Predictability.

It requires you to follow the rules.

They keep the perceptions of people focused where they are.

To make sure people keep coming back to what is.

This is the problem...

Which is what becomes...

The Mediocrity Trap.

See...

If you want to create more stability...

You end up squashing people’s ability to innovate.

You do not want people to question what is...

You do not want them to break the rules.

You want things to be repeatable.

Predictable.

Anything that could go against this end result...

Becomes a threat.

You cannot have an innovative product...

Because it becomes too risky.

You cannot have innovative employees...

Because you end up struggling to know whether their work efforts are in vain, and the results are too unpredictable.

So...

In order to create stability...

You require mediocrity.

People cannot go outside the bounds of what is...

You cannot take the time required to figure out whether innovative ideas can and will land.

Any questioning of the order feels like a threat to the establishment.

But this is where it gets worse.

Because when you set about establishing a predictable order...

You intentionally...

Or unintentionally...

Begin to design a culture with rules that start to be established.

Rules that people learn...

Quickly.

Now, this does one of two things.

Either...

People end up not questioning the system...

And “play it safe”...

Therefore, killing the potential for innovation.

Or...

The people who truly want to be innovative...

Leave.

They know their value and the potential of what could be...

And they also are aware that the future will eventually come.

They would rather create the future...

Then become a fossil of the past.

So, they go build the future elsewhere.

These types of individuals refuse to be mediocre...

And at the hint of mediocrity...

Sprint away.

What this does...

Is creates a trap of mediocrity.

The more stability you design...

The less innovative you are capable of becoming...

And the more mediocre everything becomes.

As stability is more firmly established...

Things become more predictable...

And to lose that predictability becomes a risk to the establishment...

While simultaneously squashing all ability for innovation.

The only way to have innovation...

Truly...

Is to allow for levels of unpredictability.

For challenges to be allowed and taken seriously, to the status quo.

But for so many organizations...

The desire for predictability...

Is not only a trap organizational structure...

But expands further to become a trap of psychology.

You begin to expect certain results and certain behaviors.

You become comfortable.

Anything that breaks that...

Begins to feel like a threat.

So now...

You are faced with a structural design that is reinforced by a psychological demand for safety...

Turning the organization into a model of mediocrity...

Often irreparably.

If you truly desire innovation...

Then you need to begin to become comfortable with a lack of stability...

A level of chaos...

The ability to question everything that has been created to this point...

And open to the idea of throwing it all away.

That is something that most people...

Are not willing to consider.

Which is exactly how they become trapped in mediocrity.

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Does High Emotional Intelligence Make You More Miserable?

What People Fail To Understand About EQ And The Consequences

Written by a human, for humans, always.

I was reading an article by a psychologist whose writings have been interesting to read.

In this particular article, they made a claim that goes against what you typically hear.

Their claim...

That having high emotional intelligence (EQ or EI)...

Actually makes you more miserable.

Indeed...

They listed out some great examples from their own work where they saw individuals who had high emotional intelligence...

Who were also made miserable.

Some of the claims as to why this happens...

Constant meta-analysis - seeing all emotions as puzzles to piece together.

Exhaustion from emotional labor that becomes burnout.

Overwhelm from empathy or taking on the emotions of others and being crushed by them.

The need to “perform” emotional intelligence when others rely on you to be the “strong” one.

Being the one who “handles” others’ emotions, which can leave those others emotionally incompetent, and you resentful.

Overanalyzing emotions to the point that you do not “feel” or “experience” the emotion any longer and are able to simply rationalize it.

The trap of ruminating on problems as you analyze them.

“Survival techniques” that become the dominant frame of reference for how you begin to perceive the world, especially in marginalized groups or when perceiving yourself as a victim.

That is not an exhaustive list of what they laid out...

But it does paint a potent picture...

That as your emotional intelligence increases...

It can make you more miserable.

Or...

Perhaps there is something missing.

What is it?

The fact that emotional intelligence is not really “one” thing...

It is not just “one” type of intelligence.

What I actually see from what this individual has laid out extremely well...

Is that all of these different examples are not truly “high emotional intelligence”...

At least...

Not fully.

See, in emotional intelligence, there are actually four different types of measurements that go into it...

And being “high” in one of these measurements does not necessarily make you “high” in other measurements.

What are the measurements?

Understanding others’ emotions.

Handling others’ emotions.

Understanding your own emotions.

Handling your own emotions.

Now, what I see in most of these examples given...

Are individuals who seem to have high emotional intelligence in understanding their own emotions and the emotions of others...

But low emotional intelligence in handling others’ emotions and their own emotions.

Remember...

Emotional intelligence is not “one” measurement.

Let’s look at the examples I listed out.

If you see others as puzzles to piece together...

That tells me that you have the skill to understand others’ emotional intelligence...

But the fact that “you” see others as “projects” to solve tells me that your emotional intelligence is low in a different respect.

People are not projects.

You are not here to solve people.

Even if you are in a “role” where you help people in their emotional capacities...

Your role is not to “solve” them, but help guide them to gain improvements in their emotional intelligence...

So they can help themselves.

If you are exhausted from emotional labor...

You do not know your own boundaries, and have low emotional intelligence on what you can handle...

Which, I know, is “really” hard in industries where you are there to help people who do need help...

But you also need to know and protect your own boundaries at the same time.

If you are taking on others’ emotions...

Then you are struggling to separate “your” emotions from the emotions you can “feel” from others...

Indicating your own low emotional intelligence in this aspect.

You can feel and empathize with others...

Without “taking on” their emotional load.

If you are “performing” emotional intelligence...

You are likely working on a societal perception of what you “believe” someone who is emotionally intelligent is “supposed” to look like...

Which is not the same thing as actually handling your emotions in an effective manner.

If you are trying to be the “strong” one and you are the one who “handles” other people’s emotions...

You are demonstrating both that your emotional intelligence in the area of being “perceived” as strong as opposed to “being” truly strong...

As well as the fact that you are not really helping others handle their emotions...

You’re trying to handle their emotions for them...

Which means you are making them dependent on you and simultaneously adding more work for yourself.

If you then become resentful of this, then you are further demonstrating your own low emotional intelligence in handling your own emotions.

If you are analyzing emotions instead of feeling emotions, then you are not really being emotionally intelligent in handling your emotions.

There is a difference between understanding and experiencing emotions, and if you are not fully experiencing them in a healthy manner, then you are demonstrating low emotional intelligence in that area.

If you are ruminating on something, you are not really resolving anything or processing those emotions well.

Survival techniques are usually developed either based on the culture you grow up within or based on adaptive measures based on what is available to you at a certain time...

But if you are unable to figure out what survival techniques actually benefit you or are unable to let go of survival techniques that keep you feeling like a victim when you are no longer a victim, and develop new techniques that benefit you...

Then you are not really handling your own emotions successfully...

Allowing the past to continue to dictate your future.

What does all of this show?

Was the article correct that having high emotional intelligence makes you miserable?

Partially.

If you develop certain types of emotional intelligence, such as your ability to understand emotions...

But fail to develop other types of emotional intelligence, such as understanding how to healthily move through your own emotions or believing that you are supposed to solve others’ emotions...

Then yes, you can become extremely miserable.

But what they were missing in their analysis is that emotional intelligence is multiple factors...

And it is absolutely possible to develop one type of emotional intelligence while neglecting another or having misconceptions of what others mean.

Truly high emotional intelligence is rare in our world.

Few people take the time to do this successfully in all aspects of emotions.

Even those who do take the time end up struggling for a variety of reasons.

How they were trained.

The societal beliefs they have around them.

Not getting proper help.

Being helped by individuals who do not really understand these dimensions of emotional intelligence themselves.

Not knowing the different types of tools and methodologies that can help.

Even other psychophysiological issues can decrease your emotional intelligence, such as having gut-health issues, dehydration, lack of sleep, low embodied cognition, and more.

In my work with clients, I have discovered that many people struggle with emotions...

Not because they do not know “how” to do it...

But because they “physically” are unable due to other health factors.

Emotional intelligence is vastly more complicated than most people realize...

That we are still working on understanding.

Yet...

If we are successful at increasing all aspects of emotional intelligence...

Truly, in reality...

Which is not a simple thing to accomplish...

Then, high emotional intelligence will actually make you less miserable...

While simultaneously helping others become less miserable.

But if you only get a part of the different aspects of emotional intelligence...

Then there can be real challenges that you will face that can and do make many people very miserable.

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Do not get me wrong…

Emotions can be difficult to work with and through.

Even when you “do” have truly high emotional intelligence.

I have tested in the top 1% of emotional intelligence…

That does not make it “easy”.

But…

Emotions can be made easier to work with and through.

How?

That is what we will look at next.

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The Secret Of The Dark Side

Star Wars Day Lesson

Written by a human, for humans, always.

May the Fourth be with you.

For those who are not a certain type of nerd...

Today is Star Wars day because “May the Fourth” is remarkably close to a common phrase in the Star Wars series...

“May the Force be with you.”

It is an unofficial holiday that celebrates the beloved characters and stories of Star Wars...

And the epic battles of light and dark.

But today...

I want to focus on one specific aspect of Star Wars...

How the Dark Side operates.

Now, what got me thinking about this was a post I read a while back...

Where someone compared themselves to the Rebels in Star Wars.

Now, in case you are not aware of the “history” of Star Wars...

There is an organization in the series known as the Empire...

A tyranny that is led by members of people who essentially worship and utilize the embodiment of evil, known as the Dark Side.

In response to the evil of this organization...

A group known as the Rebels rises up against them.

What follows is the classic story of good triumphing over evil.

Here is where I am going...

In our world...

We “love” to make ourselves into the “good guys”.

The “Rebels”.

We like to believe that our actions and stances are directly opposed to the evil of the world.

That our “side” is that of righteousness.

But...

This is not typically how we find ourselves in the real world.

For the Star Wars fans out there...

Most people think they are in the Rebels vs. Empire era...

But they are really in the Republic vs. Separatist era.

Before the Empire came to power...

There was the Republic...

A government that had corruption within it...

And some of the people who had been in the Republic decided they were tired of the corruption...

And became a different faction known as the Separatists.

War ensues between these two factions.

But how does it come to be that both the Republic and Separatists lose...

And the Empire rises from the ashes of both?

Agents of the Dark Side...

Infiltrated and played both “sides”...

In such a way that both powers destroyed themselves...

Leaving a vacuum that allowed the agents of the Dark Side to fill the void as the Empire.

This is how the Dark Side tends to work.

There were good people in both the Republic and the Separatists.

They wanted to improve the galaxy around them.

They sought to bring stability and hope to others.

But...

They bought into lies and deceptions...

Crafted by those who followed the Dark Side.

The Dark Side designed stories and propaganda in such a way...

That both “sides” saw themselves as the “heroes”...

And both saw the other “side” as the “villains”...

Unable and unwilling to look deeper into what was really going on...

Becoming deceived into contributing to the darkness...

Until they all became consumed by the darkness.

This is what so many people miss...

Darkness is usually not as embodied as the Empire...

But people want you to “believe” that the Empire already exists...

And that the only thing standing in their way...

Is you.

But if this is not “really” the situation you are in...

You are likely being deceived.

You’re likely not a Rebel...

Unless you are being murdered in the streets for standing against the government.

You’re more likely someone in the Republic or a Separatist...

Who believes the other side is far too corrupt...

While believing themselves to be the righteous ones...

While both sides are being actively deceived.

This is the secret of the Dark Side.

To make people believe that other good people...

Are actually deeply evil...

Through lies and deceptions...

While the real evil is being done behind the scenes...

Creating situations that allow the darkness to win...

At everyone else’s expense.

That is what we should really be wary of.

That is the danger.

The secret of the Dark Side is that it works in the shadows...

Manipulating good people into aiding the dark...

Without realizing it.

If you are going to use Star Wars as a metaphor within your life...

Make sure that you understand which era you are truly in.

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So how do we pay attention…

To make sure we see through the tactics of the metaphorical Dark Side?

That is what we will look at next.

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Dedication, Obsession, And Madness

The Boundary Of Success Few Are Willing To Cross

Written by a human, for humans, always.

How badly do you want success?

Truly?

So many people talk about wanting success in whatever they do.

Talk about getting to the top.

Getting recognized.

Accomplishing something that matters.

But what are you going to do to get there?

Not in theory...

Not someday...

Here and now.

See...

There is something that I see lacking in most people when they talk about wanting success.

They really do not put themselves into it...

Not at the level that is necessary.

What level is that?

Well...

It requires a dedication...

But not any dedication...

It is a dedication that is obsessive...

Beyond what most people think is reasonable...

You may even need to find yourself on the border of what others might call...

Madness.

This is an edge that few people truly ever push themselves to.

There is a reason.

It is not easy.

It can feel like you are alone.

That is what is truly required, though.

But it is even more difficult...

Because when you push yourself to those levels...

On the border between obsession and madness...

You begin to wonder if you have fallen off the edge completely.

Others seem to think so.

How do you know that you have not?

Did you hit the breaking point?

When you push to that level of extreme dedication to something...

You cannot recognize what normal looks like anymore.

Even if you were to try to go back to that...

Could you?

If you are truly pushing to such extremes...

You begin to craft yourself into something different...

You think differently...

You act differently...

You live differently.

You have to become so intentional to reach those levels of success...

That anything before begins to feel...

Incompatible.

It feels like a different culture and world that existed...

One that you no longer belong to.

Even when you know that sounds unreasonable...

That you never stopped being here...

You can’t help but feel this way.

The truth is...

When you truly begin to push to that level of success...

There is no going back.

You cannot.

That is how I know so few people are truly ready for that level of success...

They are too afraid to leave behind what they have.

Now, I’m not saying that you “give up” everything you have in your life...

But your relationship with it will change...

Which is what people fear.

Change.

They want to have that success they seek...

But they are afraid of what they have changing from what it is.

If you are afraid of the change...

You cannot simultaneously be dedicated...

Not to the border of obsession and madness.

Change is necessary.

You must craft yourself...

Into a sharp instrument of what you seek.

But the quality of the instrument you become...

Depends on the quality and time you put into the crafting.

In any craft...

There are hobbyists...

There are those who do it for a living...

Then there are those who are considered master craftsmen.

What they do...

How they do...

Is so precise...

So measured...

So surreal...

That to behold what they do...

Is sublime.

That level is not achieved by ordinary measures.

To do what is common...

What everyone else does...

Will never get you to that level.

That is why the level of dedication that borders on obsession and madness is required...

But also, why most people will never attain that level.

How badly do you want success?

Truly?

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So, what should we keep in mind if we are going to push to this level?

What will allow us to approach the level of dedication required…

Without going into madness?

That is what we will discuss next.

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The Cost Of Brilliance

Finding Motivation In Unlikely Places

Written by a human, for humans, always.

I have been writing and publishing daily articles for over 1,200 days in a row.

Every.

Single.

Day.

There are some days when I struggle.

I run out of ideas.

I feel exhausted.

I feel like I have nothing left to give.

Not to mention having other things in my life that I do...

Such as going through 6 learning programs simultaneously...

Including a doctoral degree...

And building a shelf that was poorly designed today.

So there are days...

Like today...

Where I have no clue what I am going to end up writing about...

And I sit down to write...

With nothing coming to me.

But...

Sometimes...

You get inspiration from places you do not expect...

Like a card game.

Now, if you do not know much about me...

They, you may not know this...

But I am a gigantic nerd.

It is not like the constant writing and learning were not a dead giveaway...

Now you know for sure, though.

What is it that inspired me today?

A card game that I love...

Known as Magic: The Gathering.

(PS - It is always good to have hobbies that bring you joy!)

Now, you do not need to know the game to understand the lesson at hand.

But a brief history...

Magic, or MTG as it is called in short, has been around since 1993...

And is recognized as the oldest trading card game.

Now, these days I do not have much time to “play” the game...

But I still love to collect the cards.

They have beautiful artwork from extremely talented artists...

And each set tells a unique story within the larger world that they tell.

So, it is appropriate that the most recent series...

Is about a magical school...

Where one of the colleges...

Is about the power of our words...

Whether through writing or speaking.

Specifically...

There was a card that I found today called...

Cost of Brilliance.

On the card, as there are with many of the cards...

There is something known as “flavor text”...

Which is writing that does not have any mechanics in the game...

But adds context and “flavor” to the world that each set presents.

This is what the flavor text of the “Cost of Brilliance” card says...

“There will be moments when you are exhausted, with nothing left to give. Remember them when you finally succeed.” - Embrose, dean of shadow

(Embrose is a character - no, you do not need to know anything about them today).

This card states something so simply...

That so many people absolutely fail to understand in their lives.

If you are going to do anything of note...

If you want to become considered brilliant for anything in your life...

There is a cost.

Part of that cost...

Is struggle.

Is being exhausted.

Is feeling like you have nothing left to give.

And...

You have to move through all of that.

You need to struggle time and time again.

You need to move through the exhaustion.

You need to figure out how to give something when you feel like you have nothing.

It is not an easy thing to do...

Yet...

If you figure out how to accomplish it...

You keep moving forward...

You keep getting better...

You continue to strive to attain the best you are able to give...

You will get to a point where you succeed.

When you get to that moment...

Remember.

Remember everything that went into achieving that.

Remember how you overcame it all.

Remember the doubts and fears...

Remember the pains and struggles...

Because they all help you to see exactly what you were capable of the entire time...

Even when you were unsure.

You can find motivation in the most unlikely of places...

From a trading card game...

To the challenges you face.

All of these can be used to drive you toward the success you seek.

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So how do we continue forward?

I will give you a few tips here.

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Causation, Correlation, Consequences, Chains, And Truth

Why It Is So Difficult To Get Accurate Information

Written by a human, for humans, always.

I was reading an article earlier today...

Taking a position on a health topic...

The data was compelling...

The information was true...

Yet...

As I looked at it...

All I could see was that the end conclusion they came to...

Was incorrect.

How does that happen, though?

Someone presents an idea...

They are not lying about what they present...

But can still be absolutely wrong?

This brings us to why it is so difficult to get accurate information in today’s world...

A variety of challenges which can be used in different ways...

To get to different conclusions...

Which all may be incorrect.

For instance...

There is a difference between causation and correlation.

A classic example here is meat.

Does it cause health problems?

You can present data that shows a correlation between eating meat and a variety of health conditions...

But does this mean that red meat causes those problems?

The answer...

Is no...

And yes.

Confusing, right?

See, there are actually two ways this can play out.

Technically, meat in these studies is not the real cause of these health problems...

These studies usually do not account for other factors that can be the cause...

Such as smoking, lack of physical exercise, excessive drinking...

The consequences of “other” factors that can lead to the same health problems.

Indeed...

If you look at good research that focuses “solely” on meat...

You will actually find that meat often provides a vast network of nutrients which contribute to health...

Many of which you simply cannot obtain from other sources in significant amounts that your body needs.

But does this mean that meat is automatically healthy and does not cause disease?

It depends on the quality of the meat.

If it is factory-farmed meat...

Then that is usually loaded with things like hormones, antibiotics, pesticides, an imbalanced omega-6 to omega-3 ratio, and more...

All of which can create significant health consequences and chain reactions that can lead to health conditions.

So in this sense...

Meat can be unhealthy.

But the same is not true if the meat is regeneratively farmed.

The quality of the meat creates a significant difference.

So you can already see a variety of ways...

That people could be saying the truth...

Yet be inaccurate at the same time.

But we can go further.

We can look at consequences and chains as well.

I see this a lot in research when people make claims that something appears to be beneficial.

What is it we are seeing?

Well, we may see a “consequence” where one thing does cause another.

What you might call a first-order consequence...

And the result that is obtained may be true and “appear” to be beneficial to the goal being identified...

But it may fail in two other respects...

Both in second-order consequences...

As well as failing to address problems that are happening earlier in the chain, which still cause the same results.

A great example here would be melatonin.

Indeed, you can take melatonin, and it will make you feel more tired...

Making it easier for you to fall asleep...

At least initially.

But if you are actually low on melatonin...

The problem is usually not the melatonin itself...

Rather, there are usually lifestyle factors that are getting in the way of you creating melatonin...

Such as blue light exposure...

Interference with your circadian rhythms, such as inconsistent sleep schedules...

Lack of sunlight...

Increased caffeine intake, especially in the evening...

Lacking the proper nutrients...

And more.

If any of these are the problem, or even part of the problem...

Taking melatonin is not going to magically resolve these...

And if they continue to persist...

They will continue to create “other” problems...

Chains that make taking melatonin useless to help.

Further...

When we take Melatonin...

We fail to recognize the second-order consequences that happen.

Such as...

When we take Melatonin from an external source consistently...

Our bodies will actually stop producing it naturally...

Especially if you are already lacking nutrients for other bodily functions, so your body begins to reassess where those nutrients go.

But this creates a new problem...

If the melatonin you naturally produce decreases...

You need “more” external melatonin to reach ideal levels.

But...

Getting the levels “correct” consistently is extremely difficult.

The result...

Is that in an effort to feel tired and get to sleep...

People usually take an excess of melatonin.

This creates two new consequences in this chain of events...

First, is that when you take too much melatonin...

It “feels” similar to not having enough melatonin...

The side-effects are strikingly similar...

Making it all the more likely that you take even more melatonin, “believing” you have not taken enough.

Second, is that when you take too much melatonin...

The receptors that register melatonin may become overwhelmed...

And over time, they may actually begin to become desensitized...

Making melatonin ineffective...

Even if you increase the amount.

But it is difficult or impossible to know whether the problem is...

A lack of melatonin...

An excess of melatonin...

Or a desensitization of melatonin.

As they all feel remarkably similar.

So is it a lie that taking melatonin can help you feel tired and fall asleep more easily?

No.

That is true.

But it also fails to take into account the other chains and consequences that occur when you take melatonin.

There is a lot of research that ends up looking like this when you dive deeply into it.

I remember reading research papers on a supplement...

That claimed to have anti-cancer potential...

While simultaneously ignoring that the same “anti-cancer” potential...

Could “cause” cancer in healthy cells.

Why do I bring all of this up?

I tell you this to help you understand “why” it is so difficult to get accurate information in our world today.

So much of the information we look at and consume...

Is so narrowly defined...

So hyper-focused...

That it fails to consider things like causation, correlation, consequences, and chains.

What you read may be true...

Even well-intentioned...

Yet simultaneously inaccurate when you get a fuller picture.

What this means...

Is that we generally need to dig deeper into what we hear...

If we are actually going to discover the full truth, that is accurate.

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So, how do we go about finding the truth that is accurate?

It is not easy…

But there are things we can pay attention to that make it easier to identify.

That is what we will look at next.

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Why Many People Miss What Was Always Within Their Reach

The Simple Solution That People Do Not Even Realize They Have Available

Written by a human, for humans, always.

People have often asked me...

How have I gotten to where I am today?

There are some parts of it which are clear to most people...

Hard work.

Consistency.

Continuous Growth.

Dedication to the truth.

Getting results.

Things that you will hear just about everyone say.

But there is one thing that I have come to realize that I do...

Which most people do not...

Which has created far more opportunities for me...

Not because of anything special I have or have not done...

But because so few people do it.

What is it?

Ask.

Just ask for the opportunity.

It sounds so simple...

So ridiculous...

Yet it is true.

So many people approach opportunities in one of two ways.

On one hand, many people do not give themselves enough credit for what they can do...

So they “believe” they are not going to get an opportunity...

So they never ask.

On the other hand...

Many people believe that they are so good that opportunity should go to them...

And maybe they are absolutely amazing...

But because they are expecting the opportunity to be handed to them...

They never ask.

In both of these questions...

Opportunities exist around us...

But the vast majority of people just never ask.

What is crazy...

Is if people simply asked for the opportunity...

They would receive many more opportunities.

It is not a 100% guarantee...

But I can tell you from experience...

You will get vastly more opportunities than you thought possible.

I cannot tell you the number of times...

Where I saw an opportunity...

Thought to myself...

There’s no way I’ll get that...

Then said...

But what’s the harm in asking?

Worse case, they will say no and nothing will change.

So I ask...

Then find myself pleasantly surprised when the opportunity is given to me.

Again...

It is not because of anything special that I bring to the table...

Usually I do not even need to give “credentials”...

Even though I am happy to if asked.

The only reason I get it...

Is because I asked...

And others did not.

So many people fail to see...

Just how many opportunities there are...

Right there...

Within their reach...

That they could seize...

If they only asked.

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So, why does this work?

What is it about this simple solution…

That makes it so impactful?

We will look at the next.

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An Act In Futility

Facing Hopeless Situations

Written by a human, for humans, always.

Why should I?

What is the point?

Will it make a difference?

Will it even matter?

These are the types of questions we begin to ask ourselves when we lose hope.

When we feel like we are pressed against insurmountable odds.

When it all feels...

Futile.

It is something that we begin to face when we stare into the abyss...

To discover it staring back at us.

Indeed...

The act of looking into the darkness...

Can be such an unsettling event that it causes good people to turn away.

There is a problem with this, however...

For evil spreads when good people do nothing.

At the same time...

We must be wary about how we act...

For when one sets out to fight monsters...

They often...

Without realizing it...

Become monsters themselves.

Our sense of morality seems to disappear when we justify our actions in the cause of defeating these monsters we see.

So what are we to do?

When it seems that every action has danger...

And that to do what is right...

Truly right...

Is hopeless...

Futile?

An act in futility.

We tend to think that doing something in this manner is useless.

That it is an act “of” futility.

But this is not really the case.

There is a significant difference between...

An act “of” futility...

And...

An act “in” futility.

The former is an act which is, in itself, useless...

Choosing to do nothing...

Choosing to take monstrous actions that spread evil further.

But the latter...

It is something else entirely.

It is to do the right thing for the right reasons...

Even if the circumstances that surround us seem futile.

That is the keyword to understand...

Seem.

What the abyss hopes for...

Is that you fall for the idea that it “seems” futile to do the right thing against it.

That is a trap...

That you will submit to it...

Either by allowing it to consume you...

Or by becoming a tool from which it spreads out further.

But this is not the truth.

The truth...

Is that every action has a reaction.

To reveal true light...

True goodness...

In a world that has become a quagmire of darkness...

Becomes undeniable.

Unsettling to those who see it.

It casts a light of truth into who they have been...

How they have acted or failed to act...

And forces them to turn their gaze from the abyss...

To confront the light.

It loosens the grip of hypnotism that has beset them...

To see that it is possible...

To act in goodness...

Even in the circumstances the seem absolutely and all consumingly futile.

That is not something that can be ignored.

It leaves a mark...

An impression...

One that becomes far more powerful when one has been trapped in the gaze of the abyss.

But what most people fail to understand...

Is that this form of impact...

Is not something that always creates shattering change...

Though it can happen.

Far more often, it is more like a seed...

One that needs time to take root within the heart of those who see it.

It needs to be watered...

It needs time for the light to help it grow.

That is all the more reason why it becomes important to act in futility...

Because it is not really futile...

Unless you act in such a way that allows the abyss to take you.

So go on...

Act in futility.

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So what can we do…

To more easily make it through the darkness?

That is what we will look at next.

Let’s dive in…

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The Fatal Jump For Glory

How Most People Destroy Their Careers Before They Even Get Truly Started

Written by a human, for humans, always.

What would you do for success?

It’s an interesting question that many people do not really think about.

Most people...

Just want it.

So they chase it.

But it usually does not end well.

Think of it like this...

If we were to be on a cliff...

And there is a chasm that if you were to jump over...

You would be able to obtain everything your heart desires on the other cliff...

All you have to do...

Is make the jump.

What do most people do?

They hear about the glory on the other side of the jump...

And they jump.

But what ends up happening to most people?

They have not trained themselves for the jump.

They have not built the muscles they need...

And without even considering the potential consequences...

They have tried to jump the chasm...

Only to fall into the abyss and destroy their career in the process.

I have seen this happen...

Time...

And time again.

Often with entrepreneurs and people who desired positions of leadership.

They jump long before they are ready...

Get way over their heads...

Fail...

Fail again...

And eventually...

The business collapses or they are fired.

Then...

They are unable to get work within that industry...

Forcing them to completely change their career and industry.

I just saw this happen with an entrepreneur.

I saw some of their work back in 2018 when I wanted to learn marketing better for my business...

They had a book and courses...

Didn’t think much of it personally, but still got emails.

2019.

2020.

Still got emails.

2021.

Emails suddenly stopped.

No notice.

No thanks for the good times.

Just stopped.

Was not the first time I have seen a business disappear without a word.

Then...

Just this week...

New emails from them...

But for a completely new industry...

5 years later.

Apparently, they kept their email list, hoping that they might get some “quick wins” from people who knew their work from the past...

But I am not interested in what they are working on today.

Sometimes...

People do survive the fall...

Get back up...

And try to do it again...

Exactly the same way.

But here is what most people fail to understand in the jump for glory...

The people who promised you that if you made the jump, you would have glory?

Most of them never made it themselves.

They are simply telling a story that they have heard so often...

They believe it is true.

But the people who have actually made the jump...

Discovered something that people fail to understand.

The grass was not greener on the other side.

There are still challenges there.

Worse...

Sometimes, there are actually larger jumps that are necessary to get further.

It is not just one jump that is necessary...

But a series of jumps that become progressively more difficult.

What so many do not even realize...

Is that if you are not capable of making the first jump...

You are never going to stand a chance of making the latter jumps that you are unaware even exist.

Even “if” you are lucky enough to make that first jump based on sheer luck or natural talent...

You will not make the next jump...

Which is what happens to another significant number of people.

If you are going to stand a chance of making it...

You need to train your ability to jump.

What allows you to jump the first chasm...

May not be enough to jump the second chasm.

Let alone further chasms from there.

Are you willing to actually develop your ability to jump?

But be careful...

Because most people believe that “thinking” about jumping...

Or “learning” about jumping...

Is the same as jumping.

It is not.

If you are going to stand a chance of surviving the chasms...

You need to actually practice “jumping”.

Not over the chasm that will likely break you...

But where you are...

Now...

With what you have available to you now...

With the time you have now.

If you cannot practice the “action” of jumping...

Then you are never going to successfully make that jump.

Trust me.

I’ve seen enough people fail in their attempts.

Do not take the fatal jump for glory.

It is a lie...

Often designed to capitalize on your failure.

If you actually want to make the jump...

You’re going to have to put in real work “before” you take a jump.

I know that sounds crazy in today’s world...

Where you are promised that...

With just a weekend certificate, you are an expert...

That with just one successful post, you will become a star...

Where if you just get seen, you can have it all.

Just remember...

Most of the people who make these claims...

Have never successfully made the jump themselves...

And the very few who actually have made the first jump...

End up failing on the second jump.

Do not turn yourself into another statistic...

Of someone who takes a fatal jump for glory...

Only to be lost in the abyss.

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So, how do we go about making the jump?

Not just out of sheer luck or first-time talent…

But so that you can have consistent success…

And continue forward into greater jumps.

That is what we will look at next…

With some lessons that I have learned the hard way.

Let’s Dive In…

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A Lie About Motivation

Something That Is Lost In Today’s World

Written by a human, for humans, always.

When you think about motivation...

What comes to your mind?

I know that for most people...

They imagine something...

Peppy.

A guy on a stage who is loud and excited and pulls others into that state of mind.

A story about a great triumph that ends with happily ever after.

An anecdote or metaphor that leaves a certain feeling in them when it is told.

What I have found, however...

Is that these types of motivation...

Are mostly lies.

Not in the sense that they do not give us a sense of motivation...

But rather...

The motivation they provide is cheap.

Junk-food motivation.

It feels good in the moment...

It makes you feel full...

It provides a feeling that you have all sorts of energy...

Then...

Crash.

You end up feeling terrible all over again.

Like you are lacking...

And that all of that motivational energy has been lost.

Then...

People usually go seeking more of it.

They just did not get “enough” the time before...

So they fill their entire lives with it.

They chase people around the globe to get “more” of that peppy motivation...

They surround themselves with videos, audios, and content to get their next dose...

And the people they tend to follow the most...

Actually, exploit this desire...

Creating an emotional addiction to this type of junk-food motivation...

Just as people become addicted to actual junk food.

The types of addiction are different mechanisms...

But the results are fairly similar.

This is one of the greatest lies in the world of motivation...

That if you do not feel motivated...

That you just need more...

That this type of “peppy” motivation will sustain you in life.

It will not.

It will just cause you to become more and more addicted to it...

Pushing you to serve at the idol of motivation...

While never actually having the sustained motivation required to accomplish the things you want in life.

You become so dedicated to that feeling of peppy motivation...

That you fail to have any time for anything else.

You become enslaved to chasing a feeling...

That was never going to sustain you...

Or provide what you seek.

What we need to begin to understand about motivation...

Is that the “feeling” of motivation...

Is not truly motivation.

It is an emotion.

But true motivation...

That is a dedication.

It has to expand beyond the emotions.

You must seek to find motivation...

In all emotions...

In a healthy manner.

How can you craft your sadness into motivation?

Your fears?

Your anger?

Most people have a negative relationship with these emotions...

Which causes them to seek destructive behaviors in their lives...

Lead to them “feeling” less of the emotional motivation.

They “feel” unworthy.

They “feel” awful and terrible.

Because they “believe” that motivation is tied to their emotions...

They never “feel” right...

And remain feeling unmotivated overall...

And the few stints of “motivation” they experience from an emotional state...

Fail to create lasting results...

Because they are quickly drawn back into the negative emotional reactions that directly work against them.

Action and Motivation can have a correlative relationship...

But they do not have to have a causative relationship.

So you may be able to feel like you can do more in a more “positive” state of mind...

And therefore become more productive...

Making it correlative...

But it is also possible to accomplish a significant amount, perhaps even more, while being in what people consider a “negative” state of mind...

Making it not causative.

This is what I mean when I say that you must figure out how to transform what we call “negative” emotions...

Which are more accurately just emotional signals from the body trying to tell us something, which we “interpret” as “positive” or “negative”, but are inherently neither...

Into positive action.

That is where we really begin to find the type of motivation that is sustaining.

Why?

Because it is fueled by action...

Consistently...

Through all circumstances...

In the good and the bad...

At the peaks and in the valleys.

That is the type of motivation that allows us to transcend what most believe is possible...

Yet has always been within our human potential.

What the vast majority of people perceive as “Super Human”...

Is no such thing.

“Super Human” implies that what they do is “greater” than what is humanly possible.

But this is not accurate.

It would be more correct to say that what you see is “Hyper-Human”...

What all of us “could” achieve...

If we actually were living into our potential “as” humans.

It is the extreme side of being human...

But it can only be found when we understand true motivation.

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So, how do we go about doing this in our lives?

How do we begin to change our relationship…

So that we gain the type of motivation that is lasting and drives us to our goals?

That is what we will look at next.

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Identity, Truth, And Delusion

A Difficult Question Of Understanding In Today’s World Of Deception, Shaping Narrative, Misunderstandings, And Psychology

Written by a human, for humans, always.

What is true?

It is a really difficult question to ask in today’s world...

For a variety of reasons.

Let me give you an example based on an article I was reading...

With details purposefully left scarce to help you understand the challenge and not pre-judge the situation.

The author of the article claimed they were a victim of grooming.

Grooming is a terrible crime.

Based on the author’s profile...

They have taken on that event as a significant part of their identity.

They were writing about another person, whom we will call Person A, who the author claimed was also a victim of grooming.

Person A, however, publicly claims they are not a victim of grooming...

That it is not true.

Person A also went on to say other terrible things in their life, but the author justified those remarks because Person A was a victim.

The author went on to compare this to another individual, Person B, whom the author also claimed was a victim of grooming.

Person B went on to do terrible things around grooming, but the author did not justify those things, despite Person B also being a victim.

So, what is true?

All of it is formed around really troubling and terrible things.

Grooming is psychologically destructive and horrible.

Simultaneously...

We live in a world where things are not always what we think.

Was the author truly a victim, or had they used victimhood as an identity because they knew it would give them attention?

As absolutely horrible as that sounds, people do it.

I’ve met victims who were accused of terrible things they never did by people who wanted something.

I’ve also met people who played the victim card often and frequently because they believed it was the only way for them to get attention and sympathy in their lives.

Their dedication to their identity as a victim became so encompassing that it made them absolutely delusional about what actually happened in the world around them.

Could the author be like that?

Or perhaps the author really was a victim, and they have this identity they have taken because it is truly something that has become a center of their life...

As horrible as it is to make “victim” your primary identity.

It sadly happens far more often than we like to admit, and certainly more than we know.

But what about Person A?

Is the author correct about Person A’s denial being a trademark of a victim who cannot handle the fact that they were a victim...

Therefore, Person A had to shape their narrative in such a way that they were not a victim?

Or is Person A telling the truth that they were not a victim?

That others are simply misunderstanding a situation and seeing signs that are not truly there.

Perhaps, because the author’s identity has become so enveloped in being a victim, all they see is “other victims”...

Much like how a conspiracy theorist will always find clues to support their conspiracies...

Even if it is clear that the conspiracy is not true.

Except...

Sometimes the person we thought was a conspiracy theorist turned out to be right all along...

Everyone else just missed the signs or was not ready to see the possibilities.

Is Person A shaping their narrative to avoid the reality that they are a victim...

Or is the author shaping the narrative in such a way as to create another victim?

Then we can look at the comparison of Person A and Person B.

If they were both Victims...

Why are they not both treated as justified for what they do wrong?

Is it because the author has a preference for one victim over the other?

Is it because what Person B did was dramatically worse?

Is it because the author may share some similarities with Person A and therefore is shaping the story, so that they justify themselves in the process...

Saying that, at least neither the author nor Person A is as bad as Person B...

Even if Person A and the author have not always been blameless as victims.

Which of these stories is true?

Which of these are deceptions?

Which of these are delusions?

Which of these are misunderstandings?

Which of these are shaping narratives?

Or have “I” gotten everything wrong in asking these types of questions?

I left the details vague in this article so that you would not prejudge any person or perspective.

Perhaps you know more than I do about any of the individuals...

Perhaps you also have a skewed perception around these topics...

Plus, I know myself, and I am certainly not perfect in my knowledge.

The state of our world today...

And understanding psychology at higher levels...

Forces us to confront questions like these...

Or immediately pick “sides” based on our own psychology...

Even if we are completely wrong or make ourselves blind to flags because of the story we “want” to hear.

What makes it all the worse...

Is that it often feels like simply “asking” these questions is wrong...

That having doubts makes us bad people...

Even if there have been plenty of examples and reasons to “give” us doubts.

But if you “vocalize” those doubts...

Suddenly you become “part of the problem”...

Even if it was absolutely innocent.

There is no way to get it right.

The person whose identity is tied to being a victim...

Whether truly, delusionally, or necessitated by their deceptions...

Turns anyone who goes “against” that identity of victim as an “enemy”...

Even if there are no enemies that exist.

It then becomes a system that actually will reward those who abuse the system purposefully.

It allows them to shape the narrative in a way that favors them...

Even when they do not deserve it...

So that they cannot be questioned...

And it then ends up hurting the real victims even further.

Where does this leave us at the end of it all?

The answer...

Is that it is not easy.

It is not straight forward.

Sadly...

As long as people are willing to use and abuse people and systems for their gain...

These are the types of challenges we will always face...

And the types of challenges we will always need to attempt to account for.

Sometimes we will be successful.

Other times, we will not.

When it comes to situations like these...

I hope...

And believe...

That over time, the truth will come to light.

That the true victims will get the help and solace they deserve.

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A Rewarding Day

What I Found Most Fulfilling In A Day Of Achievement

Written by a human, for humans, always.

Have you ever had a day...

Where you just wondered...

How?

What?

Perhaps even...

Wow.

That has been my day today.

Let me key you in on what has happened.

It really starts with yesterday.

I received an award yesterday for my work...

It is an Honorary Award for my achievements...

That is only given to select individuals who have already been inducted into their Hall of Fame...

Which I became a Hall of Fame Leadership Coach last year.

It is a really beautiful trophy and a framed certificate of recognition, which is a true honor.

Then today...

I was recognized by the London Organisation of Skills Development.

The award ceremony for this event was at the University of Oxford...

Yes, the Ivy League university...

Though I had to attend virtually due to other commitments I have.

This was the type of event where people had titles like...

His/Her Excellency...

Duke/Duchess...

And yes...

There was a real-life Princess at the event.

To give you context...

I started life in Elizabeth, Colorado...

Living with my mom, grandmother, and aunt...

Rural as rural could be at the time...

Then my mom worked hard to be able to afford a townhouse in Aurora, Colorado, so that I could go to better schools...

Public schools...

And she continued to work hard to be able to afford a bigger house in a better part of Aurora...

On her own as a single mother.

The fact that I am anywhere near the vicinity of “literal” royalty...

Is not something that kind of kid ever expects in their life.

Yet...

That was where I found myself today.

Again, another incredible honor.

But what happened after that?

Well, my wonderful spouse unexpectedly had a flat tire...

So I helped her pull off the flat and put on the spare tire...

Only to discover that the spare was also flat.

Going from being in the (virtual) midst of royalty to changing tires...

That is the type of day it has been.

Thankfully, though, we have another vehicle...

So I was able to go meet one of my clients for their session.

They are someone whom I’ve been working with for a few years now...

And they have come an incredibly long way.

I am truly proud of them.

When they came into their session...

Something was different...

There was a calm...

An ease...

A confidence...

They walked in, and everything around them formed around the presence they brought.

That is the goal.

To be able to walk through life...

Feeling...

Experiencing...

Being at our best.

It requires not just technical skill...

But a level of psychophysiological mastery and sageship...

That this client was stepping into today.

The first thing they said...

They had been thinking about their life...

How far they have come...

How they felt facing the challenges of today...

Compared to how they used to feel...

And they were grateful.

Gratitude was what was coursing through them...

As they had not only seen...

But could physically feel the difference in who they had become.

They knew that life would still throw challenges at them...

That there would still be bad days...

They were completely in tune with the reality of what the future will bring...

Yet...

They felt ready and excited about it all...

Knowing....

That whatever may come...

They would overcome and become all the better for it.

How many people can “truly” walk into a room and feel like that?

There are very few.

All this brings me to now...

At the end of my day...

Writing another daily article in my over 1,200-day journey.

Looking back on the day...

There was a lot going on.

But do you know what I found most fulfilling?

Helping my spouse.

Then, seeing my client in their element.

Those, to me, are what life is all about.

Being able to be there for your family.

Helping people grow into their potential and feel capable of moving powerfully into the future.

Those are the types of things that I feel we should all be striving toward.

Am I grateful for the recognition of my work?

Absolutely.

The recognitions are ways that allow me to honor God for how He has guided me in life...

But they are not what life is about.

Fulfillment comes from the positive things we put into the world...

From the people we spend time with.

That is what I will always aim for in my life.

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The Sterilization Of Thinking

The Consequences Of This Growing Problem In Our World

Written by a human, for humans, always.

What happens...

When you stop thinking?

Now, I know you may be thinking that you “always” think for yourself...

But is that really true?

I ask because very few people actually think for themselves...

Those who are the most sure tend to be the ones doing the least real thinking...

And it is creating a problem.

If you thought about “another” group when I said this...

Know that I am not talking about them, I am talking about you.

How are people not thinking for themselves?

They watch propaganda that they believe is “news” without ever really learning the “other side”.

They listen to people who claim to be experts without fact-checking them.

They listen to politicians and business leaders without verifying what those individuals actually do in reality.

They think they are learning history when what they learn has been deeply skewed.

They follow movements without learning how they really got started or who is funding them.

They are not taking the time to do any real learning by digging into research themselves.

Many people are reading at an 8th-grade level or lower in “developed nations”...

Meaning that their reading skills have “decreased” since going to school...

And to top it all off...

A growing number of people are allowing AI to think for them.

All of this has been seen over the past decade with a slowly declining average IQ level in “developed nations”.

The reality is that the majority of people are not thinking.

The result...

Is that their thinking is becoming sterilized...

Their brains are being made unproductive...

Barren.

And we have measurable evidence of this happening.

People are not thinking for themselves.

See...

Real thinking requires us to actually “do” thinking.

Wrestle with ideas.

Challenge what we are being told...

Not because what you are learning is “necessarily” wrong...

Even though it is wrong far more often than people realize...

But because you do not really “know” things unless you challenge them.

If you just “accept” what you are told...

You’re being indoctrinated.

That is not learning.

That is not thinking.

That makes you a pawn to whoever you happen to be listening to...

For better or worse.

People are getting their thinking sterilized...

And we are discovering that the results are not dissimilar to when we oversterilize our bodily environment...

Such as when you wash your hands too often, use sanitizer, use disinfectant sprays, and more.

What happens to our bodies when we oversterilize them?

Our immune system doesn’t get an opportunity to learn how to confront different challenges...

Such as fighting bacteria...

And so we become vastly more susceptible to being harmed.

This is no different in our brains...

Except instead of bacteria...

We become vastly more susceptible to being lied to, deceived, and pulled into harmful groups and idealisms...

Without even realizing how they are poisoning our brains.

Worse...

Many of the organizations and individuals who intend to harm us...

Make themselves appear to be virtuous...

While simultaneously making us emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and even physically slaves to them...

While they drive the different systems that create sterilized thinking.

Here is what you need to understand...

If you are not actively questioning the people you listen to...

The organizations you follow...

Then you are not really thinking.

The result...

Is that you are becoming dumber without realizing it.

That may sound harsh...

But it is the reality.

For your thinking not to become sterilized...

You “must” allow yourself to read, listen to, and learn different perspectives...

“Especially” those that you disagree with.

What you begin to discover when you truly think...

Is that every side is wrong...

At least in part...

And the truth usually exists in ways that no single side actually admits to.

No one is perfect.

No organization is perfect.

To follow imperfect people necessitates us to realize that any of us...

Myself included...

Can and will be wrong at some point.

To simply always agree with anyone is a poor decision.

Even “if” they are right the majority of the time...

Which, from my experience, is excessively rare...

They still will “never” be right all the time.

So for any of us to discover “when” others are wrong...

Especially people we trust the most, not necessarily because they are not trustworthy (though they may not truly be)...

But because they are the ones most capable of blindsiding us...

We must always challenge our thinking by questioning what we are told.

We must always be learning outside of the small perspectives we adhere to.

We must always keep seeking more and better information.

Even if your thinking has become a barren wasteland...

It can be turned around.

You can reignite your brain.

Begin to ask new questions.

Develop new neurons and thinking pathways to improve your ability to think.

What is most sad...

Is that I know...

A significant number of people will read these words...

Agree with them...

Then will utterly fail to actually do this type of thinking in their lives.

They will continue living their life...

As they have for longer than they realize...

With a sterilized brain...

Completely controlled without the faintest of clues that I was talking directly to them the entire time.

You are not doomed to become a slave through sterilized thinking...

Unless...

You do not actually use your capacity to challenge your thinking.

Those Who Seek Sageship Also Cultivate Others!

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• “Directly” Impact Regenerative Projects around the Globe

• With “More” Coming In The Future…

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So, how do we go about challenging our brains…

To make sure they continue to work?

That is what we will look at next.

Let’s Dive In…

Read more